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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, for a long time now i have been friends with a girl. For about the last 2 years i have loved her, we both agreed nothing should happen as it would ruin our friendship. But soon we both leave school after our exams. Then i will most likely never see her again as we both want to do different things which would make us go out of contact. Im devastated. I dont want to lose her. The only way i can think of making things better is going out with her. But she doesn't want a relationship with me. I need some advice to get over this. Im upset and have no idea what to do, please help i need advice. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): well when i was in this situaltion she was friends with me but i wanted more so what i did was i told her how muched i loved her every so often and i complimented on her sayin how beautiful she was etc. and after time came she asked me out and now were planning to get married and we already have 2 children
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): i know how you feel im in the same situation you are in....but i you really love her let her go...its easier said than done...i know but its the only thing if she dont love you than thats that theres nothing to it...im sorry it has to be like this but its the truth...well i hope you have luck with that bye
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (12 January 2006):
Hi there,
First of all, I must say how amazed I am in that you could keep those feelings away, that shows that you really do value the friendship!
I understand that when you finsih school you fear that you will both looose contact, enless you become bf and gf. The way I see it, is that if you put the effort in, it can work! Although you both might just be friends, you can still arrange to meet up, talk on the internet, email each other, phone each other- all those tpyes of things you can still do.
Remember, you both have been frieneds for a very logn time, and I have no doubt in my mind that she must love you back (even if it is just in a friend way!), so I doubt she would want to let this friendship just disapear, so surely enough she will be willing to put the extra effort in right.
Talk to her about it. Tell her you fear that you btoh might loose contact, you will probably find she feels the same way. But then you both could work out a way to deal with it and stay in contact. Alot of people find setting a certain day with someone is always easy. So like maybe you could set Sunday monrings to be 'your day' with her or Saturday afternoons- whenever!
It might take a bit more extra effort, but just hang in there! And if worse comes to worse and you do loose contact,as some people just get so busy in there new lives, remember things change and once you both get a bit older you can always start seeing each other again.
As for wanting to be more then just friends, I understand that it must be very frustrating for you! Also upsetting. I can only imagine how it must make you feel. Now I must ask, was the 'ruining friendship' reason, the only one of why she thought you 2 shoudlnt go out? Or is it that she also doesn't see you more then a friend? If it was just that one reason, then I think its workable! Tell her I said so! lol. The only reason, why if 2 friends go out, then it doesnt work out, that the friendship cant be continued is beause they broke up in a disrespectful way. The fact taht you 2 are already so close means that you will probably deal with each other in a good way if worse comes to worse. It can work, just takes again, a bit more effort. And remember love is always a risk.
I say, talk to her about being afraid of loosing contact nad maybe if you wish to, bring up the topic of you 2 being more. Ask her if the runing friendship part was the only reason, if so then tell her that you would like to try it and work through it. If not then be thankful that you have her as a great friend! You must be a lovely person for her to stick by you all these years :)
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