A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance` has just recently turned in his papers for benefits at his semi-new job. One of those benefits was life insurance. He rarely deals with his folks and out of curiosity, I asked when the last time he even talked to them was. His response was..."uhhh....last Monday. I had to get their socials so I could put them as my primary benefactors."I was a little surprised at this. We're going to be getting married...yet he puts his PARENTS as his primary benefactors?? Not that I expect anything to happen to him, but it's just the principal. It seems like he's placing them higher up than me-which doesn't seem right. He's always telling me I make issues out of small things, so I shrugged and said "Hm..I'd have YOU as MY primary benefactor" in a casual tone and let it go. However, I'm oddly bothered by this small factor. If we had just started to date or something, sure, it'd be reasonable...but we're ENGAGED. Does this mean he's still skeptical of our relationship or something? Or perhaps that he simply cares more for his folks than me? I'm not really certain why he did this...should I be concerned or am I making an issue out of something insignificant?-I'm not letting it directly affect anything..it's just something small that's bugging me and I'm not sure how to confront it.
View related questions:
engaged, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, louise100  +, writes (6 May 2009):
I can see why you are troubled - but as you are not married yet it is not relevant as you are not his next of kin.
Perhaps drop the subject and bring it up in a month or two calmly and just talk about whether it will be the same when you are married.
I think when you have kids or have a mortage together you should definately be the named beneficiary.
Perhaps the arguement is not about this really ...but about whether he sees you as the Number One person in his life?
A
male
reader, ownpool +, writes (5 May 2009):
You mean beneficiary, not benefactor.
...............................
A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 I'm sorry to say it but, it's none of your business who the benefactor is.
Ideally, it'll one day be you. Once you're married and have kids. But for right now, sweetie, read my first sentence again.
...............................
|
