A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: i have just founf out that my husband had an affair for 6 months last years we should be celebrateing our 10th wedding anniversary in a weeks time.he told me it ment nothing and he is so so sorry for what he has done he worked with the person and since then he has left his job.i dont know what to do all i want is for him to give me a big hug and it will all go away.please please help she was 22 years younger than me he keeps saying that we have to much to loose if i walk away from this i am so hurt and confused i dont know what i want anymore do people realy change and learn by there mistakes or am i just stupid
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): that sounds so horrible and I really hope you start to feel better soon and get some of the answers you want. can I ask you a question for you to think about; what is it about you that all your friends like, what is it you are really fantastically better than anyone else at, what things are you really interested in. what is it about you that is making your husband literally KICK himself over this. Your husband has done something really stupid but he is still really in love with you. Ask him to write you a letter telling you why, and promising why he will never do it again. If you stay together you can reread it when you feel in doubt, if not it will really help you heal to have something in your hands telling you how much this is NOT your fault.
A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (3 June 2007):
 I'm sorry honey this is a terrible situation to find yourself in.
If I were you I would spend some time alone to figure this out (could be a few hours or even days). Write down everything you want to ask him and get him to be completely honest. You need to know why he feels he did this. Make sure you get an honest answer and he doesn't fob you off with 'Oh I don't know....' etc.
Trust is essential in a relationship. And he has shattered yours. You need to decide whether he can get it back, or if for the rest of your life you will be thinking about this woman/wondering about other women. If the trust is gone forever then get out as soon as you can.
If not then he is such a lucky man. But don't take it a second time.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (3 June 2007):
Sweetheart: We all have Mental-Sexual-Affairs of the the mind, that's okay, or is it? Yet when we step out of our marital relationship then it's physical adultery, WOW! Now that's a big deal Guess that makes all of us cheats in one way or the other.You could really blow his mind, just tell hin that you too would like an open marriage, to love others as you see fit. What's good for the gander is also good for the Goose. Really you two get together and forgive each other, as it takes two to tango in every relationship. And see it you both can make the next ten years even better than the last ten,
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