A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I was wondering if anyone has had a similar problem... my gf and I are virgins and well we are now ready to have sex, however for some reason when we try to have sex, i seem unable to penetrate her... She seems sooo tight and i dont know what to try. We do loads of foreplay, shes very wet and moist and I we have done loads of fingering etc, but its even tricky just getting 2 fingers inside her!! any advise would be much appreciated...im not sure what to try...I have tried different positions i.e. shes on top or me on the bottom but i just cant seem to slide in.. please please please, i would appreciate any advise...ThanksAmar
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (20 November 2008):
i found that after my first time, toys helpped alot to stretch me and this made sex much more easier.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll thanks for your responses...another question though...how hard do u have to be to penetrate? ..... usually when i do oral with my gf for example, at the beginning im not that hard but as u get into the motion u become more and more harder, however u cant apply the same trick to sex because if ur not that hard..u cant penetrate...
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A
female
reader, mixedmetaphores  +, writes (12 November 2008):
All these answers are really good!
Here is my advice from past experince:
If you are having a hard time with penetration I suggest lubrication. This helps especially if she is nervous and is having a hard time generating her own lubrication.
Oral sex is also great for a first timer, especially if you bring her to orgasm then there should be plenty of lubrication to start.
At first, slow and steady is the pace and try not to go in all the way. Stick your head in and gently move back and forth a bit. Be sure to stimulate her clit with your fingers or a small vibrator. This will help her become more relaxed and help forget about the pain or discomfort.
Be sure to keep trying and don't give up or become frustrated, although it's hard not to.
The key is to get her relaxed. Help her with a massage or extra foreplay.
If it doesn't happen, it doesn't at that time. There is always oral!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): i had this problem my first time, think i was really nervous and tense, and that didnt help. Get her really relaxed, let her know shes not disappointing you if it doesnt work, you can keep trying. Hopefully after she relaxes a bit, everything will work much better. I lowered myself onto him to start with, kneeling over him.
Hope this is useful. It will get better, i promise!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses..i will try that....
But do you think using a dildo would help to open her up more? i.e to stretch her open slightly? does fingering help to loosen a girl?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 November 2008):
 Well, it has certainly been a long time since this was much of a problem for me, but the first anonymous reader offered some good insight. Try the following after a good session of foreplay and fingering: Put the head to her vaginal opening and be very, very patient as she hopefully loosens and becomes lubricated (wet). Gently and slowly press the head of your hard erection in exactly the right place, moving slowly as her opening allows. Continue to insert slowly as she loosens.
By no means should you forcefully begin thrusting soon after entrance - move very slowly in-and-out as she becomes more and more accepting. Actually, my best advice would include about 15 minutes or more of pussy licking (cunnilingus), providing that you both are ready for that. But in either case, penetration does require a good deal of patience with some women. It is a wonderful problem to have, as you will someday learn that you rarely have such an opportunity to appreciate later in life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhmmm..but how can i break her hymen without penetrating? doesnt fingering help open her up? When i try to penetrate her i slide down below and then cos im trying so hard after a while it becomes frustrating and i loose my erection..its starting to bother me now to the point that i just think its not gona happen... U say u lowered urself onto him? how do you mean? as in are you on top and lowering yourself down? Do you think using like a dildo on her would help? hmmmm..i feel like i have to be extra rock hard to penetrate her....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): MMM i can relate. my b.f and i were virgins too, the firs time we tried, he couldnt get in me, i cried soo much, the first 4 time were HORRIBLE, and no i wasnt loose from fingering or anything, he broke my hymen, it was so frustrating but you just have to be slowly and patient, he always slipped out or i pushed him off, it burnt and hurt like HELL but don;t worry you'll get there, just be patient and try whats comfortable for her, i used to lower myself onto him SLOWLY feeling him stretch me, then he gently put me on my back and did it very slowly. good luck
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