A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:In 1973 I was 17 and my boyfriend was 18 we married in 1975 and divorced in 1980. we both grew up in the same small town so our parents keept us informed through out the years. we both have remarried and have long marriages mine 25 his 23 both with children.A year ago he asked my dad for my cell number and he would call ever few months. we got together 2 weeks ago for lunh a 2 1/2 hour long lunch the feelings, the connection was still there only at a more mature level. we had not seen each other in 30 years. we did get together that night it was like were we 20 again but so much better. He now says he wants to be just friends. I am devestated. He will not even meet with me to talk because the feelings are to strong. He wants to be able to call nd text. should I just end it all together or say OK to just friends in the hopes that we will be able to see each other again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): you met this man ( now a stranger ) after 30 years had had sex with him that very night.
what dd you expect - him to leave his wife for you. and did you forget that your hb existed? you had a one night stand with a stranger. and you know what becomes of one night stands. of course he feels guilty of cheating on his wife. why don't you feel guilty about cheating on your hb. you had an affair with this man. it ended even before it started. you have to move on and accpet that he does not want you. you cannot force him. if you continue you might as well divorce your hb. please also get checked for any sexually transmitted diseases. your hb will know then that you did the dirty with someone else.
you meet for a long lunch but end up having sex - i expect teenagers to act like this but you? your past is dead, you Resurrected it only for the sex but this is not reality. you cannot be devastated,why? your expectations were one of deceit. you expected to have an affair with this married man and expected to continue with the lies. but this man has more moral sense and ended it. this man has chosen and he did not choose you. please accept this.
A
female
reader, Jesshton +, writes (20 May 2009):
 As someone who is also divorced, I think it is only natural to have those feelings toward your ex. I am very good friends with my ex-husband with whom I have 2 children. He was a big part of my life, just as your ex is a part of yours and that will never change. But remember you did divorce one another...there was something that caused the relationship to end. You should remain friends ONLY if you can keep the past the past. Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, Prophet7 +, writes (20 May 2009):
Be friends with him. You have known each other most of your lives. I know it hurts you because maybe you want more. Give your friendship a chance. In time he may not be able to fight his feelings and give in. If he doesn't change his mind then you have a good friend. Either way in the end you still win. Hope my advice helps you. God Bless... Prophet7
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