A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been seeing this guy for about 1 year and the thing is hes married and before you start to judge me please just hear me out! i really love him. and he loves me too! anyways i am just the type of person that believes that if you want something then nothing should stop you from getting it. I know that he is married but there also has to be somthing missing in order for him to be seeing me! thats the way i look at it and i think that you only got one life to live and you might as well live it to the fullest! he says that he wants to be with me and i know he does but i also know how hard it would be for him to give up things that he has worked so hard for! but i want to be with him and if there was anything left in his marriage than he wouldn't be seeing me right and he would be wanting to make it work with her! i just want to know how to win him over and i know all about the married thing because i am married myself and i am willing to leave my husband for him. that is how much i love him what do i have to do to win his heart! how can i make myself irresistable to him! please only serious answers please! its not a game i really love this man and i know he loves me and i just want us together Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): why leave his wife when he is having his cake and eating it too. He is keeping up appearances by being in his marriage and he has you on the side for fun. Remember, he CHOOSES to be in his marriage no matter what "excuse" he gives to you. If you really want him to leave his wife for you, maybe you need to come out and let him know or cut off the relationship to serve as an impetus (most married men never leave their wives for the other woman).Also, you are wrong to assume that there is something wrong in their marriage. There are many men out there who cheat because they can. They like the excitement and feel of a "new" women but also like the comfort of coming home to something stable.
A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 "if there was anything left in his marriage than he wouldn't be seeing me right"If there was nothing left in his marriage he wouldn't be still in the marriage. If he wanted to sacrifice what he has for you, he would have done it a long time ago, and not kept you as his bit of sex on the side for a over a year.Everyone's advice has been spot on, so it seems everyone can see it but you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Please have more respect for this website. This is not a site to give advie on how to break up people's marriages. This is a respectable website designed to help people with genuine problems and issues.
If you do not have respect for yourself please at least have some respect for this site. We sure do!!!!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): step off. how do you know one day if you two get married he wouls do the same thing to you???? whos to say that you wont be the next to be sqrewed over by the next pretty face he sees??????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Hmmm -- not getting any of the answers you want, eh? Well, here's one more you won't like.
He's willing to cheat on the wife he's with now. If you do somehow get together, how do you think he'll treat *you* when he gets bored?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): You asked us to hear you out. Okay, I've heard you out and read the other responses, and now I AM going to judge you.You are married, he is married. Your primary commitment should be to your respective spouses. But I suppose you know that, but you don't give a tuppeny cuss, right?You want us to tell you how to make yourself irresistible and how you can win him? You'll get no pointers from me.Yes, we only have one life to live, true enough. You say he can't be happy or he would not be carrying on with you. Well, what about YOUR marriage to the man you promised to be with in your marriage vows? (Remember those vows? Or did you imagine you could forget them when convenient?)Are YOU happy? Don't you think your husband (and his wife) deserve more consideration?Well, if your philosophy is "If I want something nothing should stop me from getting it" then go right ahead. Wreck your husband's and his wife's lives with your utter selfishness and see where it gets you."I want what I want and the hell with everyone else" is what your attitude is. Much joy may it bring you.......
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A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (27 April 2009):
I must firstly say that I DO NOT believe in affairs with married partners - but why do people always say the husband will never leave the wife?? Statistics show that 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce which means that 50% of husbands/wives must leave their spouses at some time!!Therefore, in answer to the question, maybe one day he WILL leave his wife - but will you be able to cope with the guilt and pain you leave behind? If you can then good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Did you know the odds of this working out is like winning the lottery? The statistics also show that if he doesn't leave in the first 6mths of the affair, he's not going to. If you want him to leave, best way to do it is cut him off, see how much he misses you and can't live without you.
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (27 April 2009):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-love-means-sacrifice-am-i-right.html
I see he still hasn't left her for you then. I'm sure he's going to continue telling you he will though.
The answer I posted on your previous question still stands, he ISN'T going to leave her for you. He has someone for the sex and someone for the cooking, he has it good, why would he want to make life difficult? He isn't willing to give it all up for you.
When are you going to wake up?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): ...But what about the other people? if you dont love your husband why are you still with him - isnt that just a lie? regardless of new guy?Are you keeping him as a saftey net?
until you leave your respective partners how are you ever going to be together?
you cant do anything - he has to give up his commitment to his wife.
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): You want both of you to be single so you can be together? No problem.. TELL YOUR SPOUSES. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to let your cheating selves go. They deserve to know anyway.
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A
female
reader, flowerpotkid +, writes (27 April 2009):
maybe go out in secret with him and talk things over
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