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We're back together but did her previous relation change her? Why the lack of sexual desire? Does she genuinly want to take slow steps?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, *ovejones writes:

Ok, so My girlfriend and I dated for 2 years, we broke up for about a year and just started talking again...its been about 3 months. We have been doing the typical dating stuff, going out, to dinners, shopping etc. She dumped me to go out with some other guy, that obviously didn't work out. She came back to me telling me how she messed up and wants to make things right

However, when it comes to the intimacy part Im at a loss for words. We have ONLY kissed and every time I mention sex...she either can't stay over, tells me she's on her period, or her stomach hurts.

This girl use to starv for attention and want sex from me ALL the time the first time we dated. I TOTALLY feel rejected by her emotionally and physically. If I start rubbing her back or her arm gently she will either say that hurts or it tickles, but I think she does it so ill stop???

So confused!! She said when we first started talking again she wanted to take things slow, which for about a month i could kind of understand, but after 3 months i dont know. I feel if we go any slower, we'll be going in reverse!

Im 30 she is 27...we should be enjoying a healthy sex life and everything else involved. Even if we kiss, its just a kiss, not a total make out session like any normal couple would do.

Her friend came in one night where i worked and asked how things are going, i said great except that we havent had sex yet...she even agreed that seemed odd, and feels she has changed someone. i feel i was being baited by her, But she is her best friend but at the same time is very straight forward. She had talked to my girlffriend the next day to kind of "help" to get the ball rolling. So of course...the very next day she came over in the morning gave me a nice make out session type kiss (no sex) but was being very sweet and endearing to me...unlike usually.

I guess Im curious if her relationship with the guy she left me for changed her..and why her lack of desire for sex?

We use to have sex all the time, just seems weird now? She broke my heart when she left me and now im starting to develope insecurities of her still see the guy she was with? Not sure if she likes the comfort of me and possibly sex elsewhere...or if she genuinely wants to go slow? But how long is this going to keep going? Im at my wit's end and not sure how to move forward if she wont let it?

please help!!!

View related questions: best friend, broke up, period, sex life

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2008):

Tell her you need to talk about it and ask her why she seems to have gone off sex.

Tell her you are happy to go slowly but need to understand her thoughts.

Good Luck!! xx

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