A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a guy for 3 months, he is getting divorced but still living with his wife until the house sold. I had been uncomfortable with this from day 1 but until now it never bothered me as I didn't know things would progress. He said she can'tafford to move until the house sells. I never understood why neither would stay with a friend/family. He swore they had separate rooms but I never met a friend or family member of his and he was meeting mine. I broke up once and he talked to me and ask that I wait 4 more months and she'd move out. I just couldn't do it, felt to uncomforable and insecure so I ended it. All along he said he loved me, spent time, made an effort to make me feel loved, but then went home every night. In the end he said 'well, if you're not happy then I can't make you, but call me sometime if you want sex". How could someone say that after all the nice stuff he said? It was a shock and out of the blue. Was he just hurt or was it all about sex and I was a fool?
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female
reader, Bexlondon +, writes (24 September 2008):
I dont think its a question of whether he said that to you because he was hurt because to say something like that is never acceptable. The point is that he said it and if anything it sounds to me like he said that to hurt you rather than because he was hurting. The fact that he could say such a thing at all is not right. I had an ex, who after we had spoke at length about giving it another go, asked me arrogantly after a long heartfelt chat, whether I missed the sex. I thought it was a bit odd and out of context. Fact of the matter is that I didn't, so I just said that I hadn't really thought about it (we had only split up for one week). I could have said "no" but I wouldn't do that because it would hurt his feelings. At the end of the day your ex sounds quite disrespectful.
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