A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:about 2 weeks ago my boyfriend hit me several times during an argument, although I decided to forgive him this time, he's been acting really paranoid that I will report him- then the other day, I noticed a group of young men following me across town, and last night , I was on the train on my way to see my boyfriend and to be on the safe side, I phoned my mum and told her I'd ring her when I'd left his house and if I hadn't rang by midnight to call the police- at which point the man sitting opposite me sort of nodded and immediately began texting someone - then he got off at my boyfriend's stop .I thought I recognized him from somewhere and Ive just realized he was one of the ones following me - and my town is a good thirty miles away from my boyfriends- what in the world do you think is going on? please dont tell me to go to the police because I dont know who these people are and my boyfriend would go mad if I asked him- also if I change my mind about reporting my boyfriend he'll still have these men out there
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female
reader, pebble +, writes (16 April 2009):
 What kind of advice are you looking for? You forgave a man that beat you. You've put yourself in a dangerous situation... Only you can get yourself out of it.
Men who hit women are usually clever, charmer, manipulative liars. They don't change. Nothing this guy does should suprise you now that he has raised his fist to you. If you still want to stay with him you're going to have to put up with it. I just hope you don't spend the next few years living in fear because of this guy.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): Why must you continue contact with your boyfriend?When you say you don't want police involved because you don't know who these people following you are and that your boyfriend would be mad, you're basically saying you'll keep your abusive boyfriend even if the police get involved.You sound like you want to be Jason Bourne. Are you somehow enjoying the danger? Try considering your life without conflict; envision your life with only healthy and calm friendships. Being on a train alone being followed to a boyfriend that hits you sounds a lot like you need to get some life coaching to switch from the thirst for a mafia wife to a normal, healthy, happy woman who pursues things that empower her to stand on her own and have kind people around her.Cut contact with this boyfriend, watch the DVD "The Secret" until you're sick of it, and work on your career!!!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 Shrug, while it seems at first unlikely lets face it, women get killed all the time by their boyfriends. Mostly however the stupid kind of woman who forgives their boyfriend after being hit several times and tell people they ask for advice to not tell them to go to the police.
So you got NOTHING to worry about.
He hit you several times. This story should have ended there and then. You didn't because... well if you love ho, and think he won't do it again, why are you so paranoid? Do you think he is likely to ... well do whatever you think he is doing? Then why did you forgive him?
It seems obvious you are deadly afraid of him yet you stay with him. What exactly do you want for advise?
Here is a hint, if you feel you need to leave calls along the line of "if I am not back in a hour, call the cops" you are NOT in healthy relationship. That line belongs in action movies, not chick flicks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): ok if you dont want to go to the police you must go to your boyfriend dont approch him badly just ask some reasonable questions such as do you trust me.if this doesnt work and he starts giving out he doesnt really love you but if i was in your case i would most definatly go to the police but you dont want to so go to your mate or parent you have to go to someone before it gets dangerous really its not safe.
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