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anonymous
writes:I have known a group of women for over 20 years. we are very close friends, they are all married but me. started dating a guy one of the women introduced me to and we hit it off in a big way and are still together. problem is one of the women (the one the intro'd us) takes extra liberties when saying good by...hugging for an extra long time (you can see he in uncomfortable) and needs to kiss him goodbye on the lips, all very pushy and it's getting worse. Needs to position herself across from him so she can do the flirting smiling eye contact thing, just don't get it. My man sees it as no problem and is grateful she introduced us...I see it as disrespectful to our relationship and to our friendship. We are in our 60's so way pass high school games! What's going on???
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reader, mrg123  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 Your right. This should stop. I can understand what your fella is saying but she is using that gratitude to take liberties. I would say shes known him for a long time and introducing you and him was something of a selfish act to be honest, its drawn him closer into your circle which is exactly where she wants him, closer to her. Sorry if thats harsh on your friend but that how it seems to me. You need to talk to your fella first and convince him of your point of view because you need a united front on this issue. If there is division that will only go badly. Please DO NOT under any circumstances talk to her first because this will only make things so much worse. Tell him its really upsetting you and he should put your feelings first then both of you talk to her and in as gentle as way as possible that this is not on. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): Maybe I'm not qualified to answer, but I've noticed that people indulge their childish side as the get older. My mom at the age of 64 is definitely this way...not flirting with other men so much, but her sense of humor has relaxed...she now feels free to make scatological jokes and sexual puns all the time. I think some of these changes are great. It's nice to see she is just more comfortable with her own ideas and doesn't question her own mindset as much...I'm sure it's liberating for her, but I know it can get old after a while. I think some people also have a certain mindset that if their desires are "impossible" (because they are married or otherwise) they have no problem flirting with them. Older men sometimes do this with far younger women. They might say a flirtatious or suggestive thing, not because they expect the comment to get them anywhere, but because they know they can get away with. They don't think they'll be taken seriously and they assume they'll be considered harmless precisely because they're "too old" or unavailable.She may feel possessive of your relationship because she introduced you and she is exercising territorial rights. She might also be jealous of your good fortune. After all, she's likely been married to the same person for a while you are enjoying the thrill of a new relationship. I don't know you and I'm jealous. :)If I were in your position and you're all part of a circle of friends, I'd let it slide. I'de probably cultivate a sense of pride about my boyfriend being so desirable. If it really bothers you, I would try a white lie. For instance, mention in an offhand way that excessive attention makes him feel uncomfortable.
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