A
female
age
36-40,
*ride to be
writes:Huge problem with my wedding!!!!! I come from a very conservative family and they are paying for my wedding. They have invited many of their high profile friends and I feel like it is about showing off their money and not about my guy and I. My guy and his friends are huge party animals and when they get together I can't even imagine what they might do.My parents have warned me that they don't want all "childish behaviour" as the put it. But my groom is set on doing a mock strip tease with his groomsmen what should I do?
View related questions:
money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): I totally agree with damluvvum! It is Your and your partner's wedding! just because your parents have been kind enough to pay for it, why should that give them any right to demand you marry in a fashion which your partner and you dislike? (Provided you're not costing them more money with demands of course!)
But, prejudices aside for traditionalists/ rebellious people- if any of us was to pay for our daughter's wedding would we really tell her 'yes i know you want white, but we prefer gold; you will have to get married in the colour WE want, because we are paying!?'
No- this is your and your partner's wedding. This is your day, about celebrating your love, and it is about what makes you both happy.
(That said, any compromise on your part to suit your family/ friends would be generous; but should come from your giving- not their demanding!)
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (20 March 2009):
 As SatinDesire said, whoever holds the purse, should have *more* legitimate say on the wedding. Or, do what some of my friends do. Hire a venue that can have two simultaneous events. If it is a hotel, rent two different (but adjacent) spaces. One for the main "event" of dinner and one for the "wild party" - and everthing that goes on in there is paid for by the groom and his family. Set up the "bar" at the wild party room, because that is what most of the expenses will go. Drinks and finger foods are just as expensive as main course dinner.
Choose small portion dinner/foods during the main course (to cut expenses), and have more buffet style finger foods in the party room so anyone still hungry can go there. Put an age limit restriction so you know you are not sending little kids in there (if their parents are still hungry)
Anyone who wants to join the "wild party" can do so at will. This may include some of your more conservative friends and family actually. You as the bride and groom will naturally visit both rooms/venues (could also be indoor and outdoor type space) as newly weds do when they mingle with their guests.
As your more conservative guests start leaving to go home, after 2 hours normally, you may even ask the hotel to close down the room to cut expenses even more (so set a rental time limit with the hotel).
I've seen this happen with a number of my friends, so I am sure it will work with you too if you still have time to plan it before your wedding. All it takes is matching the "events" and their associated costs to come up with who pays for what.
Memorable dinners and wedding parties are not about how much you pay for the foods and decorations, but it is about how happy the wedding couples are and how "unique" or "special" the atmosphere of the wedding party is.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding btw. May you be happily married ever after!
Cat
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): Since your parents are paying for it, it would be hard not too go along with what thay want. It sounds like your groom and parents have total opposite ideas...
So maybe do the wedding more your parents way and maybe have an afterparty without the parents and high profile guests?
...............................
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (20 March 2009):
 I would say.. It's your wedding.. Do you want your groom to do this mock strip tease? If you don't mind, I would let your parents know to what kind of party and celebration, you would like, because it is not their wedding, it is yours...
...............................
|
