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Trust issues. Please please help.

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Me and my girlfriend have just had an argument.

It was about trust. She says I don't trust her... and she's right.

We've been together for 18 months now but for about 4 months I have become suspicious of her.

Without going into detail I accused her of lying about her meeting this guy but telling me she hadn't.

She got angry and upset that I didn't trust her.

I want to be able to trust her. I do 99% trust her but that last little bit is just getting in the way.

Is there something that I can do to stop these thoughts?

I have spoken to her and she has assured me that there is nothing going on, like I said, she got upset when I suggested there was.

I need to stop being like this otherwise I'll just push her away.

Please help.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009):

Your projecting your thoughts onto her. You may have valid reasons to not trust her. However, where in your life are you untrustworthy? Ask yourself that. She is mirroring back to you what you do not want to see about yourself.

When you have your thoughts Ask yourself is it true? Is it 100% true? What do you believe when its true? How do you feel? How do you act or react? Who would you be with out this thought? Start there.

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (20 March 2009):

tux agony auntWell did she see that guy that she said she didn't go see? I think you'd be correct to have mistrust in her if she did.. But why is her seeing this guy so bad enough that she'd hide it from you?

But trust is a touchy subject in any relationship, if it's lost, it is hard to get back.. Without more details I don't know what much to say beyond that.

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