A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Moderator's note: OP asked two questions and they have been combined to save room on this page.Question 1:This is a very long story but I'm gonna try and make it as brief as possible. Quite a few months back I decided to create myself an msn account even though my mum clearly told me not to. On msn I got talking to a lad a few years older than me but I didn't no him in person and he told me he lived in a different country. Another few months later I found out that he actually new somebody in my year and he told them that I fingered myself on webcam to him which I didn't and a rumour was sent around the school. The problem was that I couldn't tell my mum or my teacher because it was too embarassing and my mum would have killed me if she found out I had msn so I had to cope on my own with only my best friend. Now I'm moving up to grammer school and I've decided to update my luck by changing my hair and my clothes and losing a much needed two stone in weight. And I did feel great until I got talking to a girl over facebook I used to be best friends with three years ago. We have been getting on reli well so I told her that I thought one of her friends that i hardly new were fit and I added him to my friends list that night and told her to tel him bout me . But today he wrote on my wall that I was a sket, that I should leave him and his gf alone, he would never go out with me and he also called me gay, fat and a tart. I feel really embarrassed and I hate the way I look. My old best friend used to tell little White lies in the past so I told her to sort it out otherwise we are no longer friends. What should I do about this lad and my old friend now?Question 2:After a bad rumour at my high school I've completly updated my look by changing my clothes style, changing my hair, wearing more makeup and losing a much needed 2 stone in weight. I felt much better, more confident in myself and I've been extremely happy with the comments from my friends and family. The best part is I'm happier to be around boys and I flirt with them much more. Quite recently I added an old best friend that I haven't seen in three years on facebook and we've bin gettin on reli wel. I decided 2 tell her tht I thort 1 of her friends was fit even though I didn't even no his name and she said she would introduce me to him. But today he wrote on my wall that I was a sket, gay, ugly, fat, a tart and that I shud stop calling him and his gf and he would never go out with a girl like me. My friend denies telling him anything but she has been known to lie in the past. And I feel like I'm back to square 1 with my looks and I feel embarrassed. What should I do about this tricky situation ?
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female
reader, Jen, +, writes (23 August 2009):
 The problem with some people is that they talk to much rubbish. That guy who is spreading rumours is obviously out there to get you and make you feel depressed. If you can make yourself believe that you are not a sket, gay, fat ect.. then you you'll know that what he's saying can't get you.
If it was me personally i'd probably defend myself and say I'm not this or that. But this is you, and i think it's time for a new set of mates. You can't keep changing your image every time a social problem comes along, you need to learn to deal with it and forget about it.
Do the right thing and everything will work out perfectly.
Good Luck
Jen x
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 Does no good to change your looks if you stay in contact with the same old people. You should drop the facebook account and just deal with people face to face. Make new friends and don't try to stay in contact with the old ones. It will eventually die down. And if someone brings it up, hold your head high and just laugh about it. Say something they don't expect, "Yeah, I can be naughty when I feel like it! But why not? That's what life is all about." Then move on. The less you say, the less embarrassed you act, the more quickly it will dissolve. Then you can learn from the experience and not let it rule you. Some people are just mean.
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