A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We had a crush on each other , but then we realized we can't be together , we work in the same place ...we talked about it and it came to an end ..then he started hanging out with a co worker ..I did not mind but the di worker tried to put it in my face because she knew that previously the guy was interested in me ..later on I told the guy that I know they are dating but they don't have to be lovey dovey in my face all the time because it hurts me ...I thought he had gotten the point ...So recently I got into a relationship and his now aware about it and he has u creases the frequency of his affections for the colleague just to make me jealousy ..I try with all my strength to ignore it but sometime I wonder why he does it .....If he loves her why does ge try to make me feel jealousy ?
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co-worker, crush, jealous Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Myau  +, writes (8 June 2024):
 "Dont shit where you eat"
The office is where you make your money, not find partners
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2024): I agree with Kenny.Look for another job and get yourself out of this situation.
It is hurtful for you. And you don't need complaints about making a drama at work.
You will feel in control of your life again if you take a sidestep and find a new job.
Talking to people only makes it worse because then they can gossip about what was said.
There are two of them now so there is little point in looking for sympathy.
Even if you try human resources you may find that they wonder why this is an issue for you.
New employment might open new doors so get looking and good luck with the interviews!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2024): Honeypie has it right. His feelings for you were not there in first place. Or he would not shift to someone else. Stop kidding yourself as to why it ended, it was nothing to do with a problem it was lack of feelings for you as a person. You sound quite needy, clingy and demanding and that put him off too. He just wants fun. You want commitments and promises way quicker than most do. Now you are doing it again, thinking that if you tell him you do not like his behaviour he has to change it to suit you - why should he? If he wants to flirt and have fun he will, what he wants is more important to him than what you want. And if he is keen on this other person why would what you want matter to him? Why would he risk the other person thinking he has lost interest and thinking there is no fun in him just because you are jealous - you are jealous - and that is your problem not his. It is dumb to get interested in someone at work and even dumber to take it seriously and then complain when it goes wrong. You want it both ways with jam, on it. You talk as if you are about twelve years old. And sound too immature to date or have a lover. You can't complain or ask for help every time something does not go the way you want it to, like a child.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (4 June 2024):
 This is the thing about getting involved with co-working romantically, when things are going well its ok, but when things don't work out things can then become very difficult.
I guess you just want to put it all behind you, easier said than done when things are being flaunted under your nose.
Why does he do it?. I think the answer to this question is irrelevant now. You need to be strong forget about him and concentrate on your job.
If it all gets to much the only other option would be so seek alternative employment somewhere else.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2024):
 If he was willing to date the other coworker but not you... that should tell you that his feelings for you weren't "That" deep.
While I think dating coworkers is a "dumb" thing to do (especially when it doesn't work out), this guy obviously didn't have any real reservations about dating a coworker.
I think he wants your attention. Pretty sure he thinks getting attention from 2 women rather than one.
You really need to BE the grown up and let this guy go, especially if you are dating someone else.
Right now, you are both acting like a couple of immature teenagers.
Focus on your job when you are at work, and yourself and your new man when not at work.
Life is too short to waste it on people who don't really matter in the big picture. This guy? Doesn't matter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2024): It sounds like you were the one uncomfortable about entering a relationship with someone at work and he couldn't handle the rejection. The girl would have known about it and possibly feels second best.
Could you talk to the girl about it and explain the situation? Life is not a competition and maybe you and her could become friends.
You say you're now in a relationship with someone else but still feeling bad about them being together. Sounds to me like you still really like him and maybe need to sort out your emotions. If you're still interested in the guy at work that's not very nice for the persin you are with now.
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