A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need some advice. Have been seeing this guy casually for about 5 months. We always met up once a week to hang out and sleep together as we were friends with benefits and we both did not want a relationship. He used to text me around 3 times a week to ask how I was etc which was nice. But for past couple of months, it seemed that it was me always texting him first and initiating meeting up as I would never hear from him. The frequency of us meeting had changed to once every two weeks instead of the usual once a week. I got a bit annoyed and asked him outright if he was still interesting in seeing me. He replied ''yes but just not so often''. Is he saying this cos he stopped enjoying my company? Anyway, we were supposed to meet the other day but as I had a lot on my mind, I completely forgot he was coming round to mine. I was out having dinner with a friend when he rang to say he was outside my house!! I was like ''oh my god I forgot so sorry''. He was just blunt and hung up. He was annoyed which was was completely understandable. So he came into the restaurant, where I was having dinner, as he works there and we just didnt speak. I just blanked him. I then felt bad and messaged him afterwards telling him I had a lot on my mind which was why I forgot. He responded and he seemed fine about it. So when I asked him if were still on for next week, he replied ''I would prefer to give it a miss''. So following day, I texted him asking '' do you not want want to me see me again then?'' he replied '' I may regret it but just feel it's time to move on''This why I am soooooooo confused and angry. Why would he say this and what does he mean by ''I may regret it''? and move on from what? we weren't in a relationship so why say to move on?? I would appreciate if someone could please give me there opinion on this whole situation.
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male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (25 July 2009):
Well contrary to popular belief strictly sexual relationships don't usually lasting power for guys or girls. Usually one or the other will end up wanting more. He may be looking for more and feels that just having sex is not fullfilling anymore. This is a risk every person takes when getting into the "friends with benefits" relationship. To me though it sounds like you possibly have some hidden feelings for him. If that is the case you might have to make a decision of wether you tell him or not. Its a tough position your in so I know you will remember the lessons for the next time if there is a next time
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): If he was seeing you less and less often, what are the possiblities of him finding another girl? Do you think he found a girl friend and is now cheating on her, or jsut a girl who he likes and isn't as interested in the FWB relationship anymore? Is there a problem that's got his mind and is making him act differently? i.e. something happened in his family?
It sounds like the problem is with him more than you to me. I could be wrong of course.. but maybe ask him if everything is ok with him? With his friends, family work, relationships..
It's either this, or he simply grew tired of meeting up with the same person over and over again. Nobody here can tell you the 100% correct answer, because it's in his head and we don't know either of you. But I do think you have the right to call him one more time and talk it over. Just tell him you need some closure and would like to understand exactly what happened.
Also consider one possibilty.. we get a lot of posts here from people who have developed feelings for the FWB who don't have feelings for them. I haven't read the answers these people are given, but if i were to answer, i would advice that that person not hook up with the person anymore, because if they know they don't return their feelings, then hooking up with him/her is only torture and pointless, as it will never evolve into what they want it to be. So consider all of the options and don't jump immediately to blaming yourself.
~Sy.
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