A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend who claimed to love me broke up with me just less than a year ago due to arguing too much. I didn't really think things were that bad (we were trying long-distance for a period of time he had to be away) but we went our own ways and I was pretty devastated. I gave him his space and didn't talk to him for a while. During that time, I lost hope we'd ever get back together. But one day, we got together and it was like old times. We had always had so much fun together and one thing led to the next. We ended up sleeping together one night and then the next before he had to go out of town again We carried on seeing each other after than point and going on dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend again, which I am now. We are still together, but suddenly I'm having doubts.Now months after being together again, I inadvertently learned that he was dating someone else while him and I were seeing if it would work with us again. I am actually very hurt by this and can't seem to get past it. I now feel that the only reason I am back together with my boyfriend is because it didn't work out with another woman who was the one to call it off. He slept with this other woman literally a day or two after he slept with me and technically he was allowed to do this since we were not officially a couple again at that point. ..still, I was still in love with him and hoping our time together meant more. It's not something I could do he same in his shoes. It feels like I found out he cheated on me, but he said he did nothing wrong. What does this say about my boyfriends character and the chain of events that got us back together? I feel a lack trust but he says I shouldn't because technically he did nothing wrong. I think this demonstrates the fact that sometimes I wonder if my boyfriend is the kind of guy who likes to keep his options open. He has a lot of female friends who he texts and calls a lot. I feel a lot of jealousy due to this. I did look at his phone a while ago and there are long text conversations with girls he's never told me about. I didn't really go through the conversations...but sometimes I wish I had. I know I shouldn't snoop and have resisted the temptation to find things out this way ever since. Ignorance is bliss but sometimes I am just curious since it seems a lot of men I hear about these days are cheaters. How do I know what kind of man my boyfriend is? Will there be more surprises?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 January 2010):
 I think you already have a good clue as to what sort of person he is.
Yes, once two people split they are both free to date others, but it was precipitate of him to sleep with a woman a day or so after you and he broke up........then all the women he's emailing and calling while you and he have supposedly "reconciled."
I will close by saying that as you know, trust in a relationship is paramount. If trust is not there, then it's an extremely poor outlook for any future together......
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