A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (27) and I (26) have been dating for two years. Ten days ago, he told me he's not in love with me anymore and that he needs a break. He was everything a girl could ever dream of in a man. He truly could not have been a more perfect boyfriend. Up until about three months ago, everything in our relationship was absolutely wonderful, but then we began to fizzle out a bit. Something just wasn’t quite the same. (Just for the record, I never, ever suspected another woman. And I still don’t. He was never mysterious, always answered my calls, never acted suspicious, we spent almost every night together, etc.) Anyway, I figured that this “fizzling” was just a phase we were going through. For several weeks, I was caught-up in my career and some things with my family. He had just started a new job and was juggling the job and night school. I chalked the change in our relationship due to outside stress on both of our parts. I talked to him a week ago and he said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. It's too much with work and school, but that if he was in a relationship, it would be with me.Even up until he told me he wanted to take a break, we seldom argued, always spent a lot of time together, had fun, both were very affectionate, enjoyed each others friends and family, etc. We talked for quite a while the other night and I asked him if we could give it another try. I told him that I realized something was wrong in our relationship lately, but that all relationships go through changes and that I don’t feel that our situation was so far-gone that we couldn’t fix it. He told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore and that he didn’t want to work on it now... he needs a break from a relationship to sort himself out. I know he wanted to marry me and have kids with me and all that at one point not too long ago. I'm so confused as to why he could feel this way and how he could so easily write-off me and the relationship we had. None of my friends, family or his family understand what happened or why he did this. We made a great team and our friends and family liked us together as a couple. I know I can't call him and I figure it’s best to let it settle and see what happens. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. I’m so confused.
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female
reader, AylaJ +, writes (9 September 2007):
This is one thing I haven't been through because I've never made it that deep into a relationshp. But thus far, you not calling him and letting things settle is a great choice. This is the best decision anyone can make so be happy that you're making a good first step. I hope you feel better and your career continues to go well. I wish you luck. Things will definitly get better.
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