A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So last week I finally asked out a girl I liked... sort of. I just messaged her on Facebook and asked her if she'd be interested in coming along for a work-group hanging out thing near the end of the week (I know her through my summer job). I wasn't expecting a response in my favor, but she enthusiastically said she'd love to. We went back and forth throughout the rest of the week, through Facebook mostly, the occasional in-person chat when our schedules allowed for it, I even got her phone number out of this. But once Saturday came along, our plans kind of fell through when no one else was free and she was out the whole day and didn't get home until very late at night. I felt bad about the ordeal and decided to lay low and just be friendly, but a bit quiet and distant, when she was around at work and such. She's leaving for college very soon and will be around a lot less and I just want to tell how I feel instead of trying to beat around the bush and I have no clue what I should do. I've thought about sending her a Facebook message just telling her how I feel since trying to talk to her about it just terrifies me but I don't know what other thing(s) to do and I feel like after the last time I tried to "ask her out" I don't want to bother her again even if she never actually said "no" (and honestly seemed a bit apologetic.. at least as much as you can through a text). Advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 August 2012):
 My advice to you would be to pluck up the courage to talk to her to her face. Yes facebook is great for hiding behind when you can't face the person, but it is not as personal and means so much less. So I say find the confidence within yourself to go up to her and ask her would she like to go out for a drink with you a night. That's all you need to ask her, it's not that scary really. It is just worrying about it that makes it harder it is much easier to do than you think, and you can look at her body language to see how she responds.
As for the last time you say you attempted to ask her out, from what you have wrote and being a girl if it was me I would think you where just being friendly, did you actually flirt with her or hint at her that you liked her? She is not a mind reader so she may just think you where being a friend, it is time to step up your game. So ask her out for a drink, and if she agrees, just spend some time alone with her talking to her and asking her about herself, then once you are more relaxed and comfortable you can tell her you like her.
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