A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I were forced apart. During the first few months we were apart, she lied about me, lied to me, and was flirting with her ex boyfriend. Then when she said that we'd "never be allowed together again" she gave up and dated him, yet she said to me that she *truly* loved me. We were forced apart by her mom, and would have to wait about 2-3 years to be together.Now, while we were together she was great. But she was my first girlfriend and I was just getting used to it all. When she'd phone every 5 minutes, and bug me to stay on the phone when I'm busy, I'd get irritated at her over it.. Overall, I was just a bad boyfriend with small things, but I would always apologize for it and kiss her. I never once abused her, hit her, yelled at her for no reason, and if I ever did yell, I'd apologize for it. I never drank, smoked, or did drugs, and I'd phone her when she wanted me to, but I'd tell her I have to go if I was busy. I never flirted with girls, I never even talked to many girls because she wanted me to stay away from them, yet she talked to and hung out with her ex boyfriends all the time, but I never made a big deal out of it.Now it's 7 - 8 months later, and over these months she has like I said, dated her ex boyfriend, then broke up with him, then forced me to break up with a girl I was dating a few months ago because she told me she wanted to be with me still, and now she's saying she can't do the long distance thing anymore and wants to call it off for good...I can't get her out of my mind. I want to be with her again, and be a better boyfriend.. I feel as though I blew my chance, and that's why I deserved what I got, but I'm still not sure.. Did I really deserve what she did to me? Being irritated with the phone, and other minor things like that, does that deserve being lied to, and talking/flirting with other guys behind my back? Then ditching me for her ex boyfriend 2 days after my 18th birthday party?I'm trying to let her go.. But I can't get out of my mind how amazing she was to me in the beginning, probably because she knew how to be a good girlfriend to start off with, and how I was still not very good at being a boyfriend. I feel bad for acting how I acted, I want to rewind time but I can't, and now I feel as though I'll never have a chance to show her how much she really meant to me..I feel like something is ripping me apart here.. I want to move on but I feel like I can't.. I can't stand the sight of another guy with her, making her happier than I did, all because I didn't have a chance to give her what she deserved at the time... I don't know what to do and it's killing me.
View related questions:
broke up, drugs, flirt, her ex, long distance, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 Chalk it up as a lesson learned. I know it may be hard, but you can be a "great" boyfriend to someone else. You want to correct your mistakes, but sometimes you have to go on with your life and make future situations/relationships better.
You can move on, you just have to try and realize, there are other women out there and you can and will fall in love with someone else. The next time around you will love even deeper, it will feel even better and more exciting and you can give it your all!!
You sound like a really great guy, don't wait around and dwell on her. You could be out there living your life to the fullest, being happy and in love!!
You can do it! Your mind is a very powerful thing, use it and get your life going again.
I hope this helps. Good luck!!
Michelle
|
