A
male
age
51-59,
*nonymous_usa
writes:I am wondering if it is all right to tell a woman friend of mine in an e-mail that I love her and care about her? We had a relationship at one time, but subsequently we have come to a mutual understanding and are good friends. I would also tell her that I am not trying to start something up again. If doing this could possibly harm my friendship with her then I won't do it. It is coming up on one year since I first met her and I just wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation for her being a part of my life and having her as a friend and that I love and care about her. I know sometimes people regret for leaving how they feel about someone left unsaid and wish they had said something and I don't want to have that regret. For myself, it is fine, if she doesn't reply to my e-mail or does not say it in return. To boil all of this down, I'm guess I'm wondering if it all right to tell a friend that you love and care about them? Thank you for your answers. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous_usa +, writes (8 November 2007):
anonymous_usa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Minelisse for you advice. I do love her, but only as a friend. I also like your suggestion of expressing what I feel by phone or in person. Hopefully then it would be clear where I'm coming from and less chance of misinterpretation. I also agree that it could be a tricky situation and I would not want to do anything that would harm our friendship. I consider her a good friend and a positive influence in my life and I'm glad that we are still able to be involved in each other lives. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Hi... it is always good to express how we feel, however, it is also important she understands what you are trying to say and that could be tricky in your situation. Because you had a romantic relationship beforehand it is possible and likely that she will understand the I love you as you not being able to get over the romantic relationship and into the friendship which could in turn affect the later one. On the other hand, I am not sure if you really just love her as a friend as you are too preoccupied with how to say what you feel and her saying it back and that sort of thing.
Maybe you can find another alternative like saying it on the phone or in person, whenever you meet again. As this is a more personal approach and will be clearer to her if it is said on a very casual and laid back manner. Be sure of what you really feel and of the real purpose for you wanting to tell her.
Good luck!
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