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We went from friends with benefits to boyfriend/girlfriend I guess...

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I had a one night stand with this guy. I'd never had casual sex before and I thought that's all it would be, but we developed into fuck buddies, then friends with benefits and the more I see him, the more I'm becoming emotionally attached. We now share everything that's going on in our lives with each other. We laugh and joke about everything. When I'm not with him I miss him like mad. This has never happened to me before!

I told him how I feel and he says he feels the same way and we've decided to be proper boyfriend and girlfriend. Problem is, he still only calls me up in the evenings to go round his like before and he hasn't introduced me to his friends. He says he can't take me out places because he is jobless at the moment.

If he doesn't want me to be his girl. He knows he can just tell me and but he hasn't. I'm confused??!!!

View related questions: friend with benefits, one night stand

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

sound like he is tooling you around. he can't take you out and only calls you to "hang out?" sounds like bad news to me. don't get tangled in an FWB thing, it sucks, someone gets hurt, just trust me i'm recovering from one myself.

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A male reader, 1perrito Germany +, writes (18 March 2009):

1perrito agony auntHonestly, what I am about to type, will (most likey) hurt.

But, I don't want to sugar-coat this.

Most likely, he feels that you are not 'up to par' with him and his friends. If he doesn't want to show you off to his friends, it is because he doesn't want to be seen with you.

I say this only because of experience. Maybe he thinks his friends will make fun of him. Or maybe, because he does not want his friends to look at you (he might feel that you are for his eyes only- you are probaly too pretty). Or maybe, he feels that you cannot keep up with their conversations. Peer pressure is a son of a bitch.

Either way, give him some time. Just know that you have the right to bail out of the relationship at anytime.

Just say, "You must not know about me, there can be another "you" in a minute". And then, walk away. I like that lyric from Beyonce.

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A female reader, Pyro_Dimples United States +, writes (18 March 2009):

Pyro_Dimples agony auntDarling...

After having a sexual relationship it is extremely hard for men to realize that you need more than what you had. You have to fight for what you want. You can't change him but you may be able to urge him in the direction you want him to take. Ask him to go to a party with you or to a gathering with you and your friends. Maybe if you open your life up he will follow suit....good luck!!! Hope it works.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009):

You confessed your feelings first, he probably didn't want to hurt you and told you he felt the same. It doesn't matter what a guy tells you, everything is in his actions. If he's not acting like a boyfriend should, then he's probably not interested in being a boyfriend.

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