A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months now. Im still and a virgin and he knows this and he is very uncderstanding saying he will wait till im ready. But the problem is im too scared because I dony know what to do and ive been told that it will be sore.Please help as me and my boyfriend have got really close and we want to try and have sex but I just cant bring myself to doing it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): well simple w8 its ok to be nervous lots of people are even if they dont act like it or admit it i know i was when i did it my first time so it dont hurt so if your ready go for it but if not then w8 he will understand trust me i was once in your position
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): When I had sex for the first time it was with my boyfriend after 4 months of dating as well. We were both virgins. (A side note, we are still together and have been for 6 years.) We waited until I was ready. I think he would have waited longer for me. But I just knew he was the right one. I was terrified! We were, and still are, very close. Make sure you are completely comfortable with this person before putting yourself in such a vulnerable position. You didn't mention whether you two have done anything sexual before. If not you might want to start there. Not only would this take away a little tension when you actually do have sex for the first time, but it might help with any pain. You might want to try masturbating so you can loosen up a little down there. It didn't really hurt me the first time. There was just pressure.Good luck and have fun with it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): whoever told you sex will hurt couldnt be further from the truth.that is what THEY felt.we are all different our first time so for all you know,it may not hurt and like me on my first time experience a mind blowing orgasm.
i say you dont know until you try.go through foreplay etc then move on to sex.as a hint it will be better if you go through foreplay beforehand.have fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Maybe you could make an appointment to see your nurse, so you can discuss your concerns about it hurting?
As for not knowing what to do, well everyone is a beginner at some point! And I'm sure your boyfriend won't be concerned about your "performance" in bed, he will probably just be more interested in making sure you are okay, and with getting closer to you. Everybody likes different things anyway, so asking him what he likes is probably the best way to go about it.
But as long as you feel this anxious about it, you are probably not yet ready. So wait as long as it takes, until you know you are ready. x
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A
female
reader, LallaZine +, writes (30 July 2009):
 You might also be scared that the longer you put it off, the more likely he will be to leave you - as some guys are like that. But you know it is a good test of how he really feels. The longer he waits, the more respect he has got for you.
Don't panic, take your time. The most important thing, when it comes to it (excuse the pun lol) is to be relaxed. The more relaxed you both are the better it is. You want to find a good time and place, where you won't be disturbed. Planning is a good idea. You must feel ready though, otherwise you may not enjoy it as much as if you had been ready. Research sex a little, read other people's experiences and learn about what happens i.e. when the hymen breaks etc. If you want to contact me, send me any more questions you have. It's good to get other peoples opinions and ask advice cos everyone has been in your shoes and there are people out there right now feeling the same.
Best wishes
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): First, you need to relax and know that virtually every woman who has come before you has had concerns like yours, and that they've made the transition.
Assmuing you have an Ipod, check out greatsexgames.com - they have a podcast called "sex is fun" and one episode (there are currently over 100) is about how to make your first time be a good experience. The cast is funny, and the podcast is full of good solid information, which these guys and gals take seriously.
As for being sore, you may or may not feel some discomfort the first time, but even if you do, it shouldn't be too bad. It's important that you be some place where the two of you can relax and not be rushed, and that you work your way up to the act. Take your time, have plenty of foreplay, and have some good lube handy (just in case), and don't forget the condoms.
Prior to this, you need to know your body well enough to be able to guild your lover and instruct him as how to pleasure you. Young guys, while ready to go, sometimes aren't sure WHERE to go...! Relax and enjoy... pre-planning can make this something to remember with fondness!
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