A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hye guys.. im 14 and me and my girlfriend have been together for a very long time...and we really like each other, but we've decided not to have sex yet..(yes we're smart).. sso anyways im always turned on when im around her, but i fight the urge...so we've decided to perform oral for each other the problem is she's scared of giving me a blow job and a hand job, she fears that she wont be gudd and i'll leave her..but im not that shallow i love her..she feels that she'll look stupid.. my first question is, how do i make her feel more comfortable into doing it, cause she really wants to but is just scared.. and my problem is i want to finger her but i dont really know how to do it, this is the first time we both thought about getting this far with somebody...and i don't want to look like some stupid fool trying to fix some thing but really has no idea what hes doing how do you correctly finger a girl guys, ireally wanna pleasure my girl?? sorry for this beying so long thxs
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thaks tomas...im gonna take your advice it really helped in some way
and thinks to every one who've commented about my situation so far..
A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (21 February 2009):
If you just want to touch, and she wants that (and setting aside my "you're too young" impulse), I'd tell you to recognize that most of women's (and girl's) sexual response is not from their vaginas, but from there clitorises. So if you want to touch each other, I'd be more comfortable with you touching her there.
Fingering her could be painful for her (especially if she is a virgin, a real possibility at your age). And when you are first starting out learning about sex, one thing that guys especially need to learn is how to take their time and touch slowly, and tease, and not just try to stick something in the girl.
As for her performing oral sex on you, I would have similar advice. Pornography is so easily available these days that I fee bad for kids who might see it and think that it represents the way real people have sex (it so does not). If you are touching her, and she wants to touch you, she can do that, and maybe use her mouth to kiss or lick you a little. Or not. But it's not like there is this thing you do when she tries to make you have an orgasm with just her mouth. I've seen that and (a) it's just not that effective and (b) because it's not that effective, she may feel bad if it doesn't make you have an orgasm.
So saying you want a blowjob or for her to "do oral" on you is putting way too much pressure. If you two are going to be sexual (so young! arg!) stick to touching, and don't go putting things inside each other. A little licking or kissing will eventually come naturally if it is right. That's how it really happens; don't try to treat it like an act or a checkbox on a list. It'll just disappoint.
Stay safe.
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A
female
reader, Katy.  +, writes (21 February 2009):
 you sound like a decent guy and i think it's good of you both not having sex so soon, when i read this it really related to how me and my boyfriend were, i'm fifteen btw; we were both first timers in this department and i know how nerve wrecking it can be, but i'l honastly tell you something, its not half as bad as other people or you yourself make it out to be. Just find the right timing and when it feels right.
also, you need to understand your girlfriends feelings, i mean if your slightly nervous yourself, she'l be ten times worse. tell her how much you do love her and that all this stuff is just a bonus to your relationship, if she knows that you do love her then you'l both be alot more comfortable with each other.
there's a first time for everything and it will probably just be abit of fun, but you'l get better and you'l learn as you go along its the only way you can.
as for the fingering thing, there's no correct way to do it really, just go with the flow and see where pleasures her most.
anywaays, babbling on abit here but i hope it helps abit, and good luck x
p.s;i know you've both waited to have sex, but even so; don't rush yourselves into anything because you will regret it.
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A
male
reader, Tewebag +, writes (21 February 2009):
dont do anal like the first person said. I dont have time this moment to tell you how to stimalte the clit but look up a person on this site by the name of DoubleM he does a great job of explaining in detail how to do all of that. He has advice on everything, fingering, oral (which is very pleasuring for a girl if your into it), and stuff on the gspot so when and if you want to "go all the way" (using proper protection ofcourse) you will have some idea on what to do. good luck and if you need help you can always msg me .
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A
female
reader, angryunka +, writes (21 February 2009):
if you want to pleasure her, try anal sex.
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