A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Feeling a bit strainge writing on this website, but I need some help with out getting insults. I have been reading through some other problems to see what the replies are like and I know I am probably in for a telling off.Here's the problem, Im a 42 year old male and married for the last 15 years, have 3 kids under the age of 12 and can say am happily married, apart from the odd argument with the wife. I enjoy my job but for the last few months, I have noticed one of the girls in the office has really caught my attention. I dunno if its because she got engaged recently or what... If im being honest, she actually did not flirt with me or pay any attention to me whatsoever but there was just something about her that made me ask for her number.At first, it was the odd txt from me to say Hello hows work / Hello are you working today etc etc. That was about 2 months ago, but now, there isnt a day that goes by where I dont think of her and want to txt her constantly.I took myself by surprise one day and asked her to have a bit of an affair with me, but she replied - ill think about it... 10 minutes later she replied, why not keep this as a textual affair... I took a step back for a day or two and after that, the 'textual affair' with this girl has been more than amazing. she's everthing i want in a sexual relationship and we have confided secrets about our own relationships (like what we want more from our partners). the attraction between us has now grown even more and she has told me only for guilt of her fiancee, she'd have been with me already... I was so thrilled to hear this as I was beginning to think It was all one sided (on my part) and was going to back off.I dunno what to do with myself as everytime I see her I want to kiss her neck and carry out everything we said during our txt affairs. 1 night is all we are looking for with eachother but as I said, the guilt on both parts is only thing stopping us.Im hoping there is someone out there who can help me that has been in same situation.Please please help. -thanks..
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affair, engaged, fiance, flirt, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): Hi There,
My advice would be to please don't go ahead with it, I was in a very similar situation to yours and was had a textual relationship with a man in his 40's between October and Christmas.
I am single, he is married with 2 children and it was the first time either of us had flirted by text, and the buildup and excitment of it all over 2 months was incredible. I began to fall for him very much.
Things came to ahead the weekend before Christmas and we spent one night together which was amazing. He said it was inevevitable that we had done it and that he didn't regret it.
Two days later he rang me to say he wasn't feeling so great as he had committed a terrible act of betrayal. He sent me a text 2 days after that and that is the last I have heard from him.
I have known this man for over 2 years through work, and have lost my friendship with him because of one night.
Aside from the moral torment of sleeping with another woman's husband, Ive also had a broken heart to deal with and no longer have my dear friend.
I have no idea what he has gone through as he has not contacted me, but Im pretty certain it hasn't been good.
The whole thing ended in disaster, tears and misery so please think about how you may feel the moring after before you cross such a big line.
Wishing you all the best with whatever happens,
Pixie xx
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (31 January 2007):
 I'm glad your guilt is stopping you. I don't want to give you a tongue lashing because so far you haven't done anything to be told off about but i think you know deep down that one time sex will not be the end of it. You need to think of your kids. Whatever the issues are between you and your wife they deserve to grow up in a happy, well adjusted home. You know what the right thing to do is without me telling you.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): Im in the same situation and can completley understand your feelings. I met this guy at work and we spent the night together and it was eveything we imagined.we both have long term partners neither of us married though. we both wanna be together but different things are holding us back. (i wont bore you with the details) eveytime our eyes meet i can feel the sexual tension and passion between us. we had phone sex on a number of ocations which brough us closer together. I say Follow your heart life is short and you need to grasp evey moment. You dont wanna look back in 10 yrs and think what if ? yeah its not good cheating but if its not what you expected then forget about her and concentrate on your wife. bear in mine you will feel guilt but if you chose your wife then you will have to live with that feeling for the rest of your life in a way that
will be your punioshment for cheeting.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (31 January 2007):
I going to say this, im glad that you havnt taken this any furthur because of guilt. Some men dont seem to have any guilt, or a concious. I really dont think you should have pushed you way into this. How can she be everything you want sexually ? You talk over a phone for goodness sake. Have you thought that maybe what you REALLY want is all the things youve talked about, but with your wife. If your wife would give you all the things sexually that this woman offers, would you drop the other woman and be with your wife. Please please please, put as much effort towards your wife as you are this woman. Does your wife even know that you want more out of the relationship. TELL YOUR WIFE WHAT YOU WANT. And actually give her a chance to give it to you. DO NOT have it off with this woman. Give your wife a couple of months with you both putting effort into it. Tell your wife what you want and tell her NEED it. If she ignores you then LEAVE HER. But please dont be a lousy disgusting cheat. You can message me for moral support xxx.
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