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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been married almost 18 years and have 3 children aged between 7 and 12My husband works for himself and is very hard working and earns good money although he is out 12 hours a day 6 sometimes 7 days a weekfor the past 10 months i have been seeing someone, it started as phone calls and text messages and we see each other only a couple of times a week alone but often go out with my children and his son as they are friends at school.we have so much fun together and have a lot in common.We are now totally in love with each other but his wife has sterted suspecting he is seeing someone and we have decided the right thing o do is to end our relationship, we are both finding this really difficult and upsetting, he does not spend much time with his wife and they rarely do things together as do me and my husband, our heads are telling us we must make a go of it with our partners for the sake of the children but our hearts are saying the opposite, what d we do ?
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female
reader, missmeliss0627 +, writes (15 February 2006):
WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN!? Do you even care about how they will feel when Mommy leaves their Daddy to be with someone else? Shame on the both of you! When you marry someone it is supposed to be 4EVER. Do you remember taking vows? sickness, health, richer, poorer,better,worse. Go to churchbecause you need Jesus. Quit thinking of just yourself, because your actions will affect the lives of not just yourself but the lives of two families! Shame on you for putting your children in a situation where they have to see how Mommy is cheating on their Daddy.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 February 2006):
 It's too bad, but quite common, for people to worry about this after they already crossed the line. The effort that you're putting into the new relationship is the same effort you should have been putting into the old one.You sound bored with what you had and excited about the relationship you created witht the new guy. Remember, you only see him during the fun times when the kids are together. Remember, you're both cheaters and cheaters can't be trusted. What would happen if you left your husband and married the new guy. Would you cheat on him when you met someone else? Would he cheat on you? Remember, your track rrecords indicate you both would.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006): Go with you head..thinking with the heart will create pain-for you, your marriage and especially your children. Your children stand to lose the most. The possible fall-out will be profoundly heartbreaking for them. They will suffer the loss of the father and their safe, secure world called their 'home and family'. The same could happen to the 'other man's' family,a s well. Walk away and let go. It will serve no purpose but to cause incredible pain to two intact families. Leaving your husband for another man will create turmoil for you, if not now-for certain, down the road when the realities of divorce set in. The guilt will eat away at you. Always think ahead and use your brains. Marriage is tough-it takes work and perseverence. Sometimes couples forget that. But what makes us people of strength and good character, is working through these tough times. It seems you are married to a man who works hard to support his family. Have you ever talked to your husband about giving you more quality time, so you can build on your marriage and keep it strong? I guess, dear, I am finding it hard to understand why you would 'step out' on a good man who is doing the best he can for you and the kids. You can save your marriage by loving your husband for who he is, not someone you want him to be. I suggest seriously talking to him..and pulling your marriage together. You yearn to feel loved, accepted and understood and he needs to know this. He has to find that balance between his desire for work and success and his love for you. You both need help and intervention to pull this marriage back together. Get on the phone a call a marriage counselor today.
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