A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my bf and i have been dating for a year and we both wanna have sex but we can't because a: my hymen hasn't broken and b: we are both 13. what do we do?
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female
reader, xhailofbulletsx  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 I think you are too young to be thinking about having sex. However, you say that you can't have sex because your hymen hasn't broken...your hymen will break during sex (as it is supposed to...however it does sometimes break during exercise, when you use a tampon, etc.).
If you are seriously considering sex...please, think it over first. think about all the possibilities. Would you regret it after? If you two didn't work out, would you regret ever having sex? What if you got pregnant or got an STD/STI?
Please, always use protection (condoms, birth control pill, etc.)
A
female
reader, ~Cherry7*up~  +, writes (10 September 2008):
 Im 16 and i lost my virginity at 14 it was the worst thing i could have ever done...A month or so afterwards we broke up and i was crushed...I had givin him my most sacride possesion and he just thew it away...And later on i realized that i was just to young to have a sex life and you are both to young to b having sex...Emotions get mixed up in the whole ordeal and in the end it reall is just a very big mess... But Its good that your asking questions before youd o anything...But it is still a bad idea at this ageWait untill you both are older if you are still together then ask more questions...Talk with your parents and ask them about sex....And remember to always use protection...:)Hope it helps~K~
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 September 2008):
 You and your boyfriend should read up on the entire spectrum of human reproduction. You should never have sex before you understand how everything works. Then after you reach that level of understanding, you and your boyfriend should read up on all the different kinds sexual transmitted diseases, the repercussions of having sex before you are physically mature, and finally study all the different forms of birth control. After all the the above has been accomplished you should just say no.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I'm 15 and I wouldnt advise having sex at 13....purely because it would hurt a lot and you may not be able to deal with the emotional side of things. its tough.
the fact you and your bf have been together for a year is good but i would advise waiting until your a bit older.
In the mean time, there are a lot of things that you can do other than full sex which are almost as enjoyable
such as fingering, oral (can still get STDs with this so be safe) ... handjobs etc
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A
female
reader, kittenally  +, writes (2 September 2008):
hey i'm 20. That may seem old to you but it's not. Now all i can offer is my experience. Of my friends - male and female- those who had sex before senior have had 1000s of relationships nearly all ending in heartbreak, feeling abused and have trust issues. Often hurting others. Of those that didn't they've had a couple of relationships and most aren't with that same person but the relationships have ended without the same amount of pain and distress. I had sex with my first boyfriend at 16 1/2. Yes that's over now but we're still friends. Was i upset when it ended. Yes. Any break-up is hard. But not so much that i couldn't move on. Another friend however started at about your age and has ended up a washed up stripper screwing her clients, with no respect for her body. Not always the case. But there are more cases among the few people i know. You believe you love each other and that may be true. I've got a friend getting married soon that met her other half at your age. They waited. They lasted. Sex is so much more than the physical and is an adult thing. You may feel grown up but you're not. And the damage from trying to grow up to fast as happens so much these days can be hard to overcome. Enjoy being young. Once you pass that childhood/teenage stage you can't go back. Trust me. Enjoy it while you've got the opportunity.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 August 2008):
 I will add that thousands of teenagers come to these boards seeking advice because they're pregnant, and scared to death. That's not what you want your life to be, is it?
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (31 August 2008):
 You don't know how many teenagers your age have come here asking for that same advise. THOUSANDS! "Should we have sex?" "What tips would you give us for our first time?" "Does it matter we're only 12-15?"
You come here asking because you know it's NOT RIGHT to have SEX at YOUR AGE. You know it clearly. And the worse is that you think you are right in the end and most probably will not hear our advise. It's been repeated too many times to prove me wrong.
So I'll give you the tired old answer. No, don't have sex because for one, it's illegal. Two, you are still very immature mentally, emotionally, and phsycally. And three, you probably end up scarred emotionally because it wasn't meant to be at that time and four, your relationship might change for the worse.
I realize I'm harsh but the thing is that the truth is sometimes harsh. And what I'm telling you is the truth.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): No matter how much you want to have sex you shouldnt, not at 13.
i no thats what you thought the answer would be. and its true. you no yourself that this is the right thing to do. if he doesnt accept it he isnt good enough for you.
Wait and the experiance will be better in the end.
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A
female
reader, Rolly +, writes (31 August 2008):
An unbroken hymen does not prevent sex. In fact, it's often broken during the first time you have sex.
I say you should wait until you are both 16 ... your boyfriend can still get arrested even if you're both minors.
The age limit is there for a reason, but if you go ahead with it anyway, then use protection.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (31 August 2008):
I know you're not going to like my answer, but it's true: you need to wait. There are always consequences to have sex, but sometimes when we really want to do something, we don't think about what could happen as a result. Believe me, you can make one mistake and it can affect your whole life.
I'm a teacher, and every day at school I see girls who are pregnant, and I doubt that any of them wanted to, or planned to, become pregnant. They made a bad choice, and the consequences were severe. Being sexually active as a teenager is a very bad choice. I'm not sure what sex education you've received at your school but there are lots of young people who don't receive proper sex education. I think that you need to have a talk with a health professional and learn the truth about having sex. It's much better to use a condom than to have unprotected sex, but the only GUARANTEE that you won't get pregnant or get a disease, is ABSTINENCE.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): Don't have sex!That's what you do!You say so yourself you
know nothing about it.You would be putting yourself in great
danger.Unless you do some type of sport like gymnastics or
horse riding,then your hymen will always be there until you
are penetrated.Don't have sex.That's the only thing to do
until you learn more about the risks and consequences.
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