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female
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*ove bug
writes: Im really worried because my boy and i want to go further but i keep getting scared to take the next step. Also Ive never had anything done to me before and ive never like given head or anything what do you do? Another thing is that i know we are planning on having sex soon but im really quite flat chested and have never been totally naked in front of anyone before would it be weird if i kept my top on whilst having sex? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2006): "If you're not ready to take your top off in front of your boyfriend, you're not ready for sex. End of story."
I agree with that - maybe you could bring up your fear with him. Loads of guys love girls with small breasts. Seriously, you don't wanna try to have sex with the guy if you don't even want him to see your chest. Trust me, he'll probably get more than a good look at it, his hands will be all over those puppies. ;)
A
female
reader, love bug +, writes (26 May 2006):
love bug is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am comfortable with having sex I really want to do it for myself not just to please my boyfriend, I really love him and we get along so well and I know you say if Im not ready to take my top of in front of a guy well im not ready to have sex then, But I am ready to have sex I think im just emabrissed with it being my first time and its taking a big step for me to get naked as its only me thats ever seen myself if you not what i mean, I know he respects what I want to do and doesnt presssure me in to anything but I want to make love to him because I love him. Are there any guys who could give there oppinions on the whole keeping my top on thing, would this be weird?
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A
female
reader, love bug +, writes (26 May 2006):
love bug is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am comfortable with having sex I really want to do it for myself not just to please my boyfriend, I really love him and we get along so well and I know you say if Im not ready to take my top of in front of a guy well im not ready to have sex then, But I am ready to have sex I think im just emabrissed with it being my first time and its taking a big step for me to get naked as its only me thats ever seen myself if you not what i mean, I know he respects what I want to do and doesnt presssure me in to anything but I want to make love to him because I love him. Are there any guys who could give there oppinions on the whole keeping my top on thing, would this be weird?
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Would you plan a cross-country driving holiday if you only had a learner's licence?
Would you volunteer to bake a wedding cake, if you didn't know how to turn on the oven?
Sounds like you're putting the cart before the horse here; you're "planning on having sex soon" with only the vaguest notion of what that means. You've never been naked with someone, you don't know what you're going to do, and I assume you haven't worked through your contraceptive strategy yet.
Yikes!
To me, this means only one thing: you're going the sex route because you think you have to "move to the next level" with your boyfriend or he'll lose interest in you. Am I wrong? I don't think so. Your letter reeks of "I better have sex or I'll lose him".
What you're not thinking about is your own role in this play. You're worrying about what your body looks like (trust me, guys who want sex aren't going to nitpick your features), instead of worrying about whether YOU really want to do this.
Do you? Do you want to have sex for your own enjoyment? Or, are you being pushed into something you're not too sure about because you think you "should"?
As the Anon Male said "If you're not ready to take your top off, you're not ready". I agree.
Before you progress too far, think about what your personal desires are. Don't have sex with someone before you're ready, and most of all, don't have sex with anyone before you're comfortable enough with them to talk about it, and resolve any issues you might have. Anything short of that will be a massive disappointment, and one that might leave you with an STI or pregnant.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2006): If you're not ready to take your top off in front of your boyfriend, you're not ready for sex. End of story.
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A
female
reader, electra  +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Hi there It's completely OK that your scared about having sex for the first time. It really is a big thing to deal with alone. I will try to help you OK? It's OK to experiment safely of course but don't be pressured into doing anything you are uncomfortable with by anyone. It is your choice so don't be pushed into it. Obviously if you are sure that this is what you want to do then try and read up on things before hand like on websites online. My one solid piece of advice would be have protected sex if you are going to pursue this, so at least use protection like condoms. Don't manage without in the heat of the moment, your safety is paramount and don't forget don't do anything you are not completely comfortable with inside OK? p.s if you want to wear a top during that is fine to I understand the confidence thing can be a big issue but the guy you intend to sleep with should respect you for whatever you decide to do to make you feel comfortable. I hope this helps you out, you take care now.
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