A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend asked me to marry him a week ago and we still haven’t told anyone. We want to avoid the tension, stress and drama that come with planning a wedding and not to mention the debt. We just want to go on a tropical vacation together and elope before coming back here and making it legal. We would send out a wedding announcement to our friends and families inviting them to a formal celebration dinner but that would be it. Would this be totally disrespectful to our parents? I think it’s a wonderful, relaxing way to start a marriage and it’s something we will always remember but I worry my parents might feel cheated out of seeing their only daughter married.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHeyy Everybody,
Thank you all for the advice. I am happy to announce that we went with our gut on this one and stayed true to ourselves. We did elope and had a beautiful ceremony in Morrocco with just the two of us and then had a small reception when we got back to announce our marraige to all our family and friends.
Thank you again 3
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Talk to your mom and dad. Maybe you guys can do a SMALL civil service at the courthouse or in your parents back yard ( you get the point) and then REDO the vow's on some lovely beach in St. Tomas (or where ever):)
OR you can go in debt and invite your parent's and inlaws to share the moment in the sand with you.
Either way, you will regret not having them there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Don't elope!!!
If you really want to marry him and and really love him, then you should not have to worry about hiding from anything like stress, tension or drama.
you don't have to have a really big wedding you could just have a small thing in a park and then just have your close friends and family over to your house for a afternoon tea kind of thing...
a marriage is a joyful time in a family and your mom and dad would have been looking forward to this day for a long time, they would hate to miss it!
Don't do anything you might regret!!!
Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): hi,
Why don't you ask your parents to go with you? (Just a thought..)
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dan026 +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Don't elope. I basically did that (divorced now) when I was 19 and I still occassionaly get harrassed a little by some of my family for not having a real wedding with them there. It's going to be stressful planning a wedding, but so is marriage so just do it out of respect for your parents.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 I'm sure your parents would want you to do what you want, but I think they will also feel sad that they haven't been able to show their love for you in helping with the wedding and all of that.
You might think now that you don't want a wedding, but years down the line you might wish you had had one. Why can't you do what quite a few people do now - slip off for at least a week on your own, then have friends/family join you wherever you are for a wedding? or have your honeymoon before your wedding! But when you come back have a proper wedding, not just a legal thing.
It's up to you and I know lots of people wil say 'just do what you want', but I think your parents will feel left out.
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A
female
reader, lovnlife +, writes (30 June 2009):
you have already answerd this question for yourself you said WE WAMT and thats all that matters you cant live for other people you have to live for yourself moms will understand and i am sure she will forgive you once you give her grandchildren lol
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