A
male
age
30-35,
*numuro
writes:is it wrong that me and my fiance are happy that she is almost definitely pregnant when she is 17 and i just turned 18? We are all the other has and are teen children ourselves. we have been together for a year now and were very close friends for 2 years before that and have never fought. We also gave our virginity to each other, we truly love each other so is it wrong that we want a child at such a young age? Please help...
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female
reader, Deema  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Oh bless you hun. No, you weren't lying to yourself. You sound very responsible people and I wish you all every happiness with your new little life. Just cus you're young, don't mean you can't be great parents. My brother had his first at 19, second at 20 and third at 24!!!! They were soooooo happy at that time and we loved being round them. They were just naturals. Still together 45 years later, with grandchildren and 3 great kids - one a chief of police, one a nurse and one a prison officer teaching gymnastics. What was so wrong in them starting young? And they been all over the world once the kids grew up and off their hands, they were still young enough to get out and enjoylife. Rock on kid. Lots of love and luck xxx
A
male
reader, Inumuro +, writes (10 August 2008):
Inumuro is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, I just needed to know that it wasnt wrong to want a child of my own. To let you all know we are very well set financially, she already has 2 years of college and i just finished paramedics school and joined the firefighters academy. We did college while in highschool to get ahead and its worked out great. Thanks for letting me know i wasnt lying when i told myself it was ok to have a child of my own.
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A
female
reader, fairygirl +, writes (10 August 2008):
i think this is really normal, i'm not much older than you and i can remember feeling like this and every now and then still do, but you two love each other and want this, all i can say is if you can wait, then wait and try save some money up before you make a family, if not then make sure you are comfortable with money and each other and it should be fine, all the best and good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (10 August 2008):
No darling its not wrong at all. It is a time when the thought of having a child is very romantic - I remember it well myself, but unfortunately the reality requres a great deal more support and effort than the romantic version seems to understand. So be sure this is right for you and if it is then go ahead, support each other, be there for each other and the new life coming your way. I'm a firm believer in what is to be will be, and if that baby is coming to you it was meant to be also. Nothing happens by accident. Good luck both - or all 3 of you. x
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (10 August 2008):
 It is absolutely not wrong to desire to have children. Wanting (and having) children is one of the fundamental properties of being human - survival of the species.
The issue that older adults have with young adults having children is the lack of education and financial earning power to be able to effectively care for the child. When I say lack of education, I am speaking about our desire for our youth to graduate high school, attend college and start a career before starting a family. And most teens/young adults have the inherent lack of financial earning power because of lack of education (young parents are often forced to take jobs to be able to support the child - and most of these jobs are low paying).
This doesn't mean that every young parent will be uneducated and have low financial status. That's not the case. My question is - is this you and your fiance? Did one or both of you have a desire for higher education? Did one or both of you desire to leave your home to continue your education? Do you (or your fiance) have a job that pays enough for you, your fiance and your child to survive on your own without the financial help of your parents? Does your job offer health benefits? How much will health benefits cost for your family? Will you be able to afford the increased costs of living once the baby arrives (take in to account that babies grow at extraordinary rates for the first few months of life)?
I don't doubt that you both love each other. I don't doubt that you both care for each other. I doubt any decision that you've made at all. My only question is have you thought this through, completely? Having a child is more than just having a child. And to me, once you have your own child, that removes you from the protection of your parents as you have begun your own family and as the man need to be their protector.
Are you ready? Probably not. Do you really want children? I think so. Are most adults ready when they have kids? Probably not. And some of adults who aren't ready to have children when they have them are college degree holders, and have a firm financial foundation under them. So even having all those things doesn't make you ready - it just means that when it happens that you are more prepared than if you don't have these things.
Really think about it before making a decision. Children are a gift so precious and pure. If you choose to have your child then I wish you both all the luck and prosperity you desire in your heart. I pray for a healthy baby and a healthy family. I pray you will have more than enough to satisfy the needs of your child. And I pray the child will be loved forever, until the end of your days.
Hope this helps.
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