A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was hurt by something he said. He was referring to his last "love" who broke his heart and left him shattered. When I told him about how it made me feel he said that wasn't what he meant and that he does love me. It's been 8 months of exclusive dating up until now. He didnt look at me and he hasn't said anything about love since. How should I take this? Loves me like a friend? In love with me? Doesn't mean it because he didn't look at me? It seemed very difficult and somewhat painful for him to say what he said. I replied to him that I love him very much and that he's safe with me. What does he mean? How do I help him see that love can be wonderful again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 July 2011):
 I'd not be too upset.
I have a great boyfriend and he loves me very very much but he can't say it... he skirts around it.
I did tell him I loved him long before he told me he loved me and it wasn't an issue. he told me "I can't say I love you" now 8 months into our relationship he says it once in a while when he lets his guard down...
if his actions show he loves you, let him come to saying it in his own time.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Don't take it so personally! He was sharing an experience with you of something that happened in the past. It may well have been painful for him to tell you this. He probably didn't expect the response he got.
Unless your eight months of being with this man have been fraught with difficulties, I wouldn't be so upset over it. You could try looking at what he said as an expression of his level of comfort and confidence in you by risking telling you in the first place......
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): if you love him, then don't be afraid to tell him that regardless of how he feels (or doesn't feel) about you.
but don't say "I love you" as a way to goad him into saying it back to you, as some people do. This leads to either fake proclamations of love or awkwardness in the relationship.
just tell him sincerely that you love him, and leave it at that. Don't make a big deal of it, and don't keep telling him over and over that you love him, once is enough. putting no pressure on him to say it back to you, is how you make it 'safe' for him to say he loves you, if he actually does.
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