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male
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*ark 1989
writes: Hi, me and my gf have been together for 1 year. We are both 16 and we have always had sex often. Now all of a sudden she says she can't because she is scared of getting pregnant. We always use protection and I can't help think she is cheating on me or something. It's starting to affect our relationship. We haven't had sex in about 2 months. We still do other things like oral sex. Can someone help please? Thanks.
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female
reader, kiwidew69 +, writes (12 December 2005):
I totally agree...dont force her to do it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): at 16, i don't really believe you should be having sex. this isn't cause i'm some 'adult' or old person. i just turned 18 myself. lots of people have no idea what sex actually does to people. there's more than just what happens while you're having sex.
there's emotional as well as physical changes that happen.
maybe she wasn't as ready as she thought, and kept it up hoping she'd get ready, but she didn't. that's not her fault. maybe she's not having sex with you because she understands what sex means to her now, and she's a bit scared or anxious or whatever. along with the risk of pregnancy, there's serious emotional things that happen, especially with females. with how quick you jumped on the 'she must be cheating' wagon, maybe you're too critical of her for her to really trust you either. maybe there's ways you could show her affection, without sex, to let her know that sex isn't all that's on your mind (and if sex is all that's on your mind, get over it cause you'll never succeed in a long term relationship as an adult).
birth control is a big thing, and condoms can break or not work. respect her decison. period. me and my boyfriend have made it 3-4 months without. it's doable. the guy before, i saw him twice every year. keep it in your pocket and deal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): well first off, you are only 16. im 20 with a child and its ruff. i couldnt imagine bein 16 and pregnant. nowdays you cant always rely on protection. and just because shes not having sex with you doesnt mean shes cheating. maybe she is sincerely scared of ruining yours and her life. a child is a big responsibility. if you feel she is cheating talk to her about it. if you love her you would respect her wishes and remember no love or relationship should be based on sex. hopes things go well.
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A
female
reader, falloutgrl163 +, writes (17 November 2005):
Well, first of all I think that if you care about your girlfriend, then you would definitely respect her decision not to have sex with you. I know that sex can be addicting to some people and once you do it a lot, then stopping all of a sudden really is hard.
But this is about your girlfriend and her choice to resist it because maybe she's getting concious about the consequences of being sexually active with you.
Now, to say she is cheating on you just because she's scared that she'll get pregnant is kinda way off... Girls of her age really do not want to risk pregnancy and you need to think that she is also looking out for you because having a baby at the age of 16/17 is quite a burden. The only thing you CAN do, is to really communicate with your girlfriend and express to each other, truthfully, about your situation. Hope all goes well and Good Luck to both of you.
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