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We talk exactly like we did when we were seeing each other... But he doesn't want a relationship. What's the deal?

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Question - (26 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 26 September 2008)
A female Canada age 36-40, *-anon writes:

Hey

This guy I had been seeing, which everything was going very well with over the summer, just decided that he was too busy to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment and that we should just be friends.

I took this understandingly as anyone really should but now i am very confused about what is going on with us. He still sits with me during classes and we talk exactly like we did when we were seeing eachother along with the fact that he still does all the cute things that i used to like when we were seeing eachother..

I am really confused about this behaviour because I thought that he didnt want to be with me anymore, he was so distant.. What should I do in responding to this behaviour? Should I just pretend like I don't notice and pretend that I only see him as a friend when really I still want to be with him?

lol I need some advice pretty please! :)

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A female reader, gabriella lopez  +, writes (26 September 2008):

gabriella lopez agony auntFirst be open with your feelings. And second do NOT whatever you do pressure him into a relationship. Relationships for some are hard to manage even though they are older, its not unusual for people to feel trapped and feel as if there too busy to have a relationship. Dont stop your life waiting for him, if he's ready he'll come to you. I'm glad you were understanding but all you can do till he is ready is be there for him. Hope this helps ~Gabriella xoxo

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008):

You could try a couple of different things.

First of all, if you are both in school he really truly may be too busy to be in a relationship. He could be the type of guy who is focusing on school and he may be trying to focus on getting good grades so that he can land a good career opportunity in the future. You could try to tell him how you feel about him. Let him know that you care about him and let him know you are interested in being more than friends. See what his reaction is. Maybe he is secretly playing hard to get to see if you will fight for him. Or, you could continue to be nice to him in class but then start talking with some other guys as well. Go on a few dates. He may decide he is really not ready to let you go if he sees that some other young men are interested in you (a good catch). Hope that helps. You are so young. My best advise to you is to go out with several young people and just be yourself and have fun. Don't really go out and look for a relationship. Let one come to you. It will happen when you least expect it. So, don't look for it. Just have fun and enjoy the company of other people your age.

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