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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, and we're very serious, but the relationship's been long-distance for about 7 months now. I'm usually able to cope with it okay, but recently it's been really hard. The problem is that I always end up feeling like I'm just being irrational and selfish whenever I try to tell him how hard it's been of late. I talk to him on the phone every day, but our conversations are usually about 15 minutes long. If I do get upset or I've been having a bad day, he always tries to make jokes like it's a quick fix - it doesn't help - or he laughs and tells me I worry too much. The worst part was when, the other day, he told me he wasn't sure when he could next visit because he had no time, and wasn't very enthusiastic when I suggested I visit, because he said he'd be working all the time. He IS very busy with work and I always feel guilty when I get sad about things on the phone. I used to look forward to our phone call every day; now it's getting harder to talk to him because it just reminds me of how much I miss him. I want to tell him all of this but I know it could hurt his feelings, since he does tell me he misses and loves me. Am I just getting upset over nothing? How can I tell him how I've been feeling without hurting him? Any advice is very much appreciated. Thank you! x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (20 March 2006):
 I wouldn't say you're getting upset over nothing, long distant relationship is extremely hard to deal with (I'm going through one now). But you have to remember that he's propably going through a very hard time too, and perhaps can't communicate his emotions for the risk of upsetting you more.
I know because I'm in a very pressured time now and coping with such difficulty that I can't face talking to my bf sometimes because it upsets me even more.
Why not write him a letter telling him all your worries, anxieties and express how it's difficult for you but still love him. Any relationship especially long distance requires immense amount of support and trust. Show him that you really care and will support him all the way.
Good luck
A
female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (20 March 2006):
I wouldn't say you're getting upset over nothing, long distant relationship is extremely hard to deal with (I'm going through one now).
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