A
male
age
,
*ichale
writes:I have a very confusing situation at the moment. Long story so here goes.I had an affair with someone for just over a year. We were both married and had young children. We both fell desperately in love. I couldn't carry on with my wife so I left. Not to be with the other woman as that was not an option at the time. I purely knew that I couldnt love my wife if I was seeing someone else and had those feelings for us. This was only a few months in to the affair.Anyway the affair continued with her staying with her husband. She told me that their relationship really was in pieces. However, they continued of course to go on family holidays together etc. But I became increasingly jealous of the situation, even though they had little or no intimacy together according to her, and told her that I could not carry on seeing her whilst she was with her husband. She thought about it long and hard and decided to give it another go with her husband, but didnt tell him about us even though he asked on a few occasions.I understand her decision on one level. I was about to loose my job, had no permanent place to live as I was going through the financial settlement of my divorce.However, during our early break up we carried on seeing each other, texting and speaking to each other. It never felt real. There were even tears from her whenever we got intimant. To cut a long story short, whilst she was trying again with her husband she got pregnant. She told me in floods of tears and said at the time she regretted it. We spent time apart for a while, but now we continue to speak to each other, meet up etc and the same feelings are still there. There is no physical relationship but it is an emotional relationship. I now have a job, place to live and am far more stable. I just really do not know what to do now. I don't fully understand why she is still in contact, whether there is any future. I would still get together with her as I have never felt this way about someone before.Does anyone have any advice?
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (4 August 2010):
 She hasn't left her husband so I'd say no,there is no future for you. You've given up your family for her and not only is she not willing to do the same with you, but she's further cemented her relationship with her husband by having another child with him. She stays in contact because she knows you're not going anywhere and she has the best of both worlds--a husband to pay the bills and a man on the side to meet her other needs.
You gave up your family for a woman that has no interest in being with you on a permanent basis; I think it's best that you move on from this relationship.
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