A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl a few weeks back and we had an instant connection. Things moved very quickly and rapidly and we spent practically every day together from there on out. The first two weeks were incredible. We got along amazing! Then we hit this brick wall suddenly. We began fighting on a consistent basis about small things then had a huge blow out over her ex. We decided to take a few days apart to evaluate whether this was actually as good as we had originaly thought or if we needed to separate. Well since then, she concluded it was best to be casual and be friends and see if we can't work our way back to something smoother this time and better. She just wants to take our time and see if we can make it work or not. Since then I'm not sure what to do. Should I go along with this or back off?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): she's a waste of your time lose that zero and get a hero
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): I'm the poster of this. Since then, I feel like she's really driven a wedge between us. I don't feel like she's taking the initiative to really stay in touch. I feel like if we talk, its because of me. She seems to have lost that spark. The other night she was out and sent me tons of pictures, but since then it feels like its faded. I don't know if I should just back off and let her come to me if she wants, or if I should keep trying. I feel like she's pulling away or even worse, I may have lost her.
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A
female
reader, Student of Life  +, writes (20 November 2011):
It sounds like pursuing a relationship will lead to similar arguments and fighting in future - it took only a matter of weeks for the fights to crop up this time.Why did you fight I wonder? I mean, was it really over the things commented on in the arguments - or is there some deeper issue she (or you) had that you were each trying to address, but in a round-about way?Is this a normal experience for you in relationships? Some people like the drama of it all. Then again, maybe because things were moving so quickly, you both wanted to "test the boundaries", have a few fights, see where each other's limits are?Still, I'd predict that, if the fights started so quickly and easily this early on, it's probably going to be a feature of any relationship with her in the future. Maybe she's caught up in a mode of behaviour from her past relationship - maybe she is just a bit "used to" constant fighting over little things. Do you really like her? Does she blow your mind? Are you thinking about her a lot, or are you a bit relieved that it's been called off for now? Is it all a bit too risky to continue on with?Sorry, I don't know how helpful this reply is. It's really over to you to figure out whether you want to "have another go", in the hopes a future relationship will pan out smoothly.All the best!
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (20 November 2011):
 Hi,
Before you make any decisions, I think it's best to talk to her and try to solve the problems. It's hard to give you an advice if this relationship is salvageable, because you didn't specify the problem? You've mentioned ex? Is she still in contact with ex? Does she still have feelings for ex? Not sure?
I believe you both care for each other, and you said things were great in the beginning? That means you have things in common, and in some level are compatible. The only way to know is to talk to her, and see if you can together overcome what's causing the fights. A honest talk is the only way to know if you can fix the problems.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Mol28  +, writes (20 November 2011):
If you really want her back, try the separation stuff for a bit and then if she still wants to be friends , friends hug all the time! And if your sure you dont want to be friends then try and remind her of the first two weeks you had but don't come on too strong !!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): Years ago I was in your predicament and I'm grateful I gave him and I a second chance. At the end of this month we will be happily celebrating our 23 wedding anniversary. Give it second chance. Regret might haunt your future if you decide to shut the door based on uncertainty. Go for it.
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