A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been a relationship with my boyfriend for two and half years and since October we have been living together. He has rented out his flat and has moved into my house. We have discussed getting engaged and were planning a holiday to celebrate my 40th birthday together with a engagement. It now seems that this is not going to happen. He doesn't want to marry anyone. What should I do?
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (24 May 2007):
 You need to look at yourselfs and ask both of you what has changed since you moved in together?
It may well be that he has got "cold feet" about the whole thing, but you need to sit down and really discuss your plans. if he once said he would do these things then suddenly backs off, you have every right to ask what has changed for him to alter his perceptions.
It may be a small thing, it may be big thing but you need to know where you both stand. If he is really against marriage then why give you the wrong impression, what are his motives in this relationship?
Your relationship has been for over 2 years so communication hopefully is good, so use this and just be honest and upfront with him as hiding your desires for marriage while he refuses to is only going to hurt you.
Its only a matter of being truthful to one another just by saying a few words to each other.
R
A
male
reader, Guitarboy  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Talk to him. There must be a reason why he suddenly did an "about-face" in this relationship. Could his feelings really have changed overnight? Or were there signs that you were not paying attention to? At any rate, give him some space. He may just be getting cold feet and needs more time to adjust to the idea of being married. You'll know soon enough if it's really over, or just a phase he's going through. If it's a phase, wait it out. It will pass if the two of you really love each other. If it's not a phase, then it's better to know now, than later. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 He might have cold feet. Ask him why. If you know, then we need more details to appropriately answer your question. If he's commitment-phobic, you need to leave him and find someone who isn't.
Dv1
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