A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hihave split with my boyfirend, has been 6 weeks now. i wrote ina while ago and explained it all but to recaphe's a widower, and we started seeing eachother 6 months after his wife died.over two years we'd fallen in love ,and then as it all started to get a bit more serious he tells me he doesnt love me, its not real love , and theres something missing (was 1 month before 3rd anniverasry of wifes death) though i miss him loads ,am bearing up. after he told me he wanted to split he'd said, thanks for the last two years , wudnt have got thru them without you , and more or less , see ya! am really struggling to forget all this now, feel very very used, and somewhat paranoid, am coming to terms with the split , but how do you get all the thoughts out of your head???? is real awkward, we have (seperate) children who have similar friends, but seem to be avoiding my child, and their parents , dont seem to speak to me as they did, is it just me ?and how can i cope with it? ive started staying out of the way of everyone and acting like a hermit , ex lives nearby , and its just all too much? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): You two have met up in turbulent times and unfortunatly will his wife died. This will all be making things worse. You have to accept this and move on. He may of used you as a support during all of this, which you have to accept. It's not easy for outsiders to be around you but very unfair if they are taking things out on the children. Go out there and hold your head up high, you have done nothing wrong and don't feel guilty about anything. You need to get out and survive the storm to come to the calm. Time is a great healer and there will be better days ahead.
Do take care.
xx
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (29 November 2006):
 Life is not fair but I am sure he did not meant to use or hurt you. Perhaps he was on rebound and grieved, found confort in your company and misundertood his true feelings.
Either way, you need to accept the harsh reality of a break up which is not an easy process.
Naturally, common friends will feel awkward around you,not fair on children involved either but there is little you can do stop this.
This is not your fault however nor should you feel paranoid. Stay strong, make a fresh start and move on with your life the best you can. Sounds to me like you are a very special person with a lot to give, allow yourself to be happy and never give up. Lots of hugs
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