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male
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*rkofsax
writes: As of late, I seem to be worrying about the relationship I have with my girlfriend. She seems insensitive to my feelings most of the time. She brings up things that her ex did and makes me feel like I'm not "measuring up." I also feel like she does not believe she has ever made a mistake in our relationship. I have to work incredibly hard to get just a simple "I'm sorry" out of her, even in times when I believe that she really does need to say it (like after she tells me that I'm not as good as her ex, AND after I tell her that it really bothers me when she says those things)! and when she does say it, it comes out sounding incredibly bitter and meaningless. Either way, I still love her with all my heart and if there is anything that I can do to help our situation then I won't hesitate to do it. 1. What can I do to get her to think about my emotions more often? 2. How can I find a way to get her to stop comparing me to her ex?
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (30 November 2006):
One thing I can say for sure is that you have a right to feel the way you do. I can totaly understand how you feel and I can predict that if I was in your situation I would be feeling the same too! So don't think that you shouldn't feel like that.
I think what your gf is doing is very very insensitive. I find it hard to beleive someone would do that and to be able to understand there way of thinking that makes them thikn its ok to do such things...but people still do it.
I personaly think its hard to get people like that to understand. In the end I think they are just insenisitve and don't have the ability to relate to others and there emotions. The only thing I can think you could do is try to tell her how you feel again...although it sounds like you have already done that. Maybe she needs a bit of a wake up call. Liike perhaps you should have a break from her, to show her the seriousness of how bad she is making you feel. Then maybe with spending time away from you she will beguin to realise how important you are and understand the importance of making changes to what she does in the relationship.
But no matter how things turn out, just because you love someone, I don't think that means you should stay together. If they are making you feel so bad, then its not really worth it is it, espeicaly if you try to fix it and they just continue to do the same thing. Just because two people love each other doesnt mean a relationship is going to for sure work out. But goodluck and I hope that you work this out for the better- whether that be with or without her.
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