| A
female
,
*yns
writes: hi I have recently split up with my bf who I was with for 10 months. The reason we split up was because I read a relationship book, in the book it says to distance yourself from the relationship if it is not going your way. So i decided not to see him for a week.During the week of not seeing him, he decided I must be seeing another guy (normally we see each other every day and he sleeps at my house every night). He sent me a message telling me it was over and that I didn't love him anymore.I tried phoning him but he wouldn't answer so I went and saw him. He told me I hadn't been normal with him and that if he took me back I would probably just mess with his head again. I asked him if he loved me and he said he didn't know anymore. He then told me it was definitely over.Four days after that I bumped into him and I told him I loved him and that I wanted him back, he then said he needed time to think. That was 3 days ago and I feel as though I have just been left hanging. The relationship was good and now I look back, we had no problems. I was just being insecure and a bit clingy. How long do you think I wait and do you think I should maybe write him a letter so he knows how I feel? Please help me
View related questions:
insecure, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, becky05 +, writes (17 July 2005):
Sounds like the weeks space you gave him gave him time to think over your relationship and hes decided that its not what he wants.
It also sounds like he is trying to make out you are to blame for the ending of your relationship due to the book, there must be more to it than that.
writing him a letter telling him how you feel would do no harm but if, after this,he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you, you should respect his wished and leave him alone
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2005): Too bad, that you used the tough love approach with him to somewhat make him do things your way. This never works. It's manipulative and I think you know that now. I think he loves you dearly and still wants you. He is upset with what you did and is "distancing" himself from you, letting you kick your wounds & think about what you did. He's hoping that you think he may break up with you so you'll beat a path back to his door! The oldest trick in the book. He'll be back..keep talking to him..don't ignore him. But don't be clingy! Just quietly bide your time and let him know you love him and when he's ready come back...you'll be there. And hey, no more games. Open communication and honest feelings work better. Good Luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, hopeless +, writes (16 July 2005):
In this case not everything you read should be taken to heart. I think you need to go to a place and group together your thoughts and then write him a letter telling him how you really feel. Then if he feels that there is any hope for the relationship he'll let you know and if there ain't then this will probubly be a learning experience for you. good luck and best wishes
...............................
|
