A
male
age
41-50,
*oyofthe Rovers
writes:I have posted a previous question on here which sort of explains my current situation.Basically, I have split from my partner (ex) for nearly 4 months now. We are now living far from each other, her at her parents and myself at mine. We were living together for 3 years.We have'nt really talked much recently mainly due to me saying some awful things right at the start of the bust up, (which I have apologized for and still dont believe I said the things I had said). But also becuase it was her who wanted to part and I am still finding it hard, though things are starting to look up. Over the last few months I have had time to re-evaluate my life and decided there are things in my past which I need to face to become a better person.It was these things which ultimately lead to the breakdown of the relationship. She knows this.The point is she wants to come round to discuss the selling of the house which is fine, coz it has to be done. But I dont think I feel comfortable meeting at my house and also I have a bad case of letting my emotions spill out when they should'nt.I might be alright if we meet but since she has told me about the meeting my heart has been pounding round the clock. part of me wants to see her, but another says its not a good thing to do at the moment. I dont want to seem selfish, but I am just begining to start to feel good about things.I also know that this needs to be done the sooner the better.Any advice on how i can approach the situation? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (13 April 2007):
Royofthe Rovers is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ok, she texted me tonight to tell me the sell of the house has been called off and it sort of pissed me off. There was so much hatred in the text. I know I have upset her but that was along time ago now and she seems to switch from one second to the next, from trying to be laughing and joking with me to being a really cold person.
A while ago now she asked me to give her some space coz we kept on arguing, so I did. I told her then that I did'nt want to argue about silly things and she said she could find it to forgive me. Then she texts me with a real attitude and throws my deceased mums diamond back in my face which I wanted her to have (not literally) without an explaination.
Ok shes maybe still angry, but she gave me the impression we had or would find some neutral ground and then she does this? She seems now only to want things her way, and wont reply to my texts which are only asking why she is being like this?
I have found it hard through all this because I have realised from this breakup I have certain intimacy problems which need addressing before I go into another relationship. I am not taking what she is feeling away, but I realise we have to talk at some point.
I had so much love for her and now she seems SO different. I told her this as nice as I could, but she just does'nt answer anything. The better part of me knows what she is like or used to be like and she wont reply.
I feel like my love for her is now truly going and I did'nt want it go like this, I wanted to remember how good a person she was and how much I looked up to her.
Thanks for everyone for the advice, even tho it all went pear shaped.
Thanks again..x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): I agree with CD. Get it over and done with. Muster up the strength, man and do it quickly, maturely, calmly and keep the 'issue of selling the house' the main focus of the meeting.. Don't waver from that. This will seem tough because you are in the middle of recovery and healing, a fragile time. But, it sounds like you really want to move on and make those positive changes in your life. If you want your life to change, you have to change something...and that something is you. Meaning your ability to deal with this. So believe in that and deal with this issue as quickly as possible and make absolutely sure, there is no other 'baggage and unfinished business' from this relationship, that will hinder your progress, in the future. Good luck and take care, dear.
...............................
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Definitely meet her on neutral ground. If you meet in a private place it can encourage you to spill your emotions whereas in a public place you won't and neither of you will have the upper hand. I think you just get it sorted as quickly and amicably as possible.
CD
...............................
|
