A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i've been with my bf for nearly a year and a half, we have always got on well and he also has a 12yo son who stays with us part time. We used to spend loads of time together when his son wasn't with us but now we hardly have any time at all cause he is always busy doing things, admittedly its things like decorating the house etc which needs doing and he says everything he does is for me, but what i've tried telling him is that i really appreciate it but we need to spend time together aswell, however he see's things differently. The way he seems to think is that if we are doing house work or something similar together than we are spending time together this is not what i mean, and he just doesn't seem to see it. I'm at the end of my teather. He's quite a hyper active sort of person which i know and love but how can i make him see that its important for all couples to have time together doing fun things on their own aswell? I've tried telling him and threatening to leave but even this doesn't work he thinks i am joking and then the next minute he acts like it hasn't happened? i'm at the end of my tether as i don't want to lose him. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): Yeah, this isn't a great thing, you are unhappy and it sounds like you are depressed and bored....your relationship may be ending of you don't do something soon, right? You have tried talking about it, it sounds like, why don't you do instead of talk.
If he won't go out with you, when he comes home from work or whatever, meet him at the door in a cute dress and say we are going out to dinner tonight, I got a sitter.
If he balks at this and he does not take the hint where you left off, the next time, be dressed up and say you will be back later, don't wait up, you're going out with friends, don't tell him which friends, and I bet he will sit up and take notice.
We teach people how to treat us, start making your own plans, insinuate that you will remove yourself from the relationship if he does not value you enough to spend some alone time....and then make an action plan....good luck!
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Just a quick observation.... it seems like you're waiting for him to stop decorating or whatever he's up to to spend time with you. Why not take the initiative? Book a table for a meal out and get some dvds so you can just curl up together and watch them when you get home. It doesn't always have to be the guy taking the initiative. Most of them find it a turn on when we do.
CD
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