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male
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*rads5
writes: Have I made it worse? After splitting with my gf (her choice)and going through a couple of days of torture and tears, I managed to go a day without texting her. Then I decided while witholding to ring her phone for a reason, I don't know why, at midnight. Upon doing this, I was suprised her phone rung and she answered, and in the bacground I could hear music and laughs. Upon this, I hung up, then sent her a text thanking her for sleeping with other men etc already and left her a voice mail saying pretty much the same. I know it's daft, but it only cause I'm hurting, but now I fear cause there was a chance we might get back together in the future, that I have totally killed all hope. Feel so sad and stupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): I agree with the previous reader. I'm not sure how old you are but you do sound very young. One can't say if you made it worse but it certainly would 'not' encourage her to feel good about you and the way you deal with your inner jealousies and insecurities. She's likely very upset and angry with you. What does this kind of behaviour..tell her about you? If you and she was split up-she had every right to date whomever she pleased. You acted like you 'owned her' and I hope she took note of that. Remember, you have 'no' control over other people's lives and by making a remark about "sleeping with other guys' was incredibly immature and inappropriate. She can do what she darn well pleased. I think you know this now. Remember, next time an urge like this hits-"feeling and just feelings" will get you into a truckload of trouble. But when you take those feelings (insecurities/jealousies/anger) and blend them with rational and a conscience, you get in touch with a more mature, self-respectful aspects of who you are. Learn from this and aspire to freater heights, in your way of thinking. A big apology from you to her is in order. Sending an e-mail or phoning her will not do. Call her and do it, face to face. Once you apologize to her, then be quiet and wait for her to respond and listen carefully and quietly to what she says. Once you do that, then give her space to think on this. Take responsibility for the pain and hurt you cause others, dear. Doing this might even help you-with allowing her to realize that you do take accountability for your mistakes. Take care and good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2006): Well, if you want the truth, I would say that you havent killed all hope, but you certainly haven't helped your case. I would say cut all contact with her for a week or so, and then perhaps apologise. Measure her reaction and if she sounds happy to hear from you maybe suggest giving it another go.Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, SherreeBee +, writes (3 February 2006):
 No.. I don't think you've completely ruined everything!!!You just sound like you're spazzin out waaaaay too much. Try to just chill for a little bit and occupy yourself with other things than worrying about texting her. You sound like you have really strong feelings for this girl. If you truly feel that bad for reacting the way you did, call and apologize.. Other than that, give her some space. You're right, there is still a chance you two may back together in the future; in the meantime BE HAPPY!!! and not "sad or stupid" :-)
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