A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay, so here's the deal. Me and my (now ex) were together for a year and a half. before dating, we were best friends. we are both 17 years old. we both loved eachother alot and have so much in common. he play the same sports and look at things the same way. we have the same friends and his family absolutely loves me. we seemed so perfect, but the last couple months he seemed like he didnt care as much. i mean he still loved me but i think he was getting so comfortable being with me that he didnt think anything would happen if he didnt put in as much effort. when this started happening i confronted him. we both dont like to fight and deal with confrontation so it was hard. finally the other day i said something and he completely said we were over. i could tell he was really upset about it, and so was i. he just said he didnt know what he wanted. what im wondering is if he is just stressed out? because i still love him and hope we can work things out and get back together but i dont know what to do. it happened like 5 days ago and i just text him last night. he said he wanted to be friends like we always were but he doubted that we would get back together. i just dont know what to think. im sure its not another girl. u just dont know How much time and space i give him in hope that he comes around? everybody thinks its an immaturity thing so i dont know.He's my first major boyfriend and i just dont know how to go about this. we seem too perfect to just throw away, and i still care about him and i told him that. is there anything else i can do besides give him time to better our chances of fixing things?thank you for listening to my sob story, haha. and i hope to something soon so i can stop worrying!
View related questions:
best friend, get back together, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Really no one likes to be confronted. But I've learned the hard way that it makes a HUGE difference HOW you confront someone. I feel like some guys don't like being confronted because it makes them feel inadequate (like they're not good enough). Relationships have phases...good phases and bad phases...and really, a good guy will talk reasonably about any concern that you have PROVIDED you don't bring it up in a "what's your problem" kinda way. As relationships mature, people do tend to put in less effort than in the beginning. That's normal, and you should take it as a good thing, that he feels comfortable enough around you that he doesn't have to try so hard. He's just himself, and he loves you. Guys like knowing that they make their girl happy. So it's possible that he's upset that you were unhappy with him, and he kind of took it out on you by breaking it off. Kind of an immature way of dealing with it if you ask me...but you both are young, so I don't expect him to be mature. Give him some time, and if its meant to be, then it'll work out. If not, you live and you learn. We all do :) One thing I learned the hard way, is don't go to another guy for consolation and end up doing something you regret. As far as how much time...you will know....because you will feel in your heart that you are over him. A year and a half is quite a while to be with someone, and you should respect that and give yourself time. Don't rebound simply because you want to feel that emotional connection with someone. It's hard...but there are guys that will take advantage of your emotional vulnerability and you'll end up regretting it. Spend time with your girl friends and keep busy with other healthy diversions instead of seeking romantic validation from a guy. That's exactly why most people rebound after feeling rejected...but at the same time...just think about all the things you have learned from the relationship. Every relationship can at least be a learning experience. Good luck and I hope you find peace and happiness regardless. :)
A
female
reader, omfgbabygirl  +, writes (13 January 2011):
Ask yourself: do you want to marry him? Can you see yourself with him in 20 years?It's definitely an immaturity issue. Speaking from experience, most guys want (at your age) is to have fun and not be tied down. Guys don't even consider settling down until 27 years old. By the way you described your relationship, I can already tell that it's an immaturity issue on both your parts.You both are very young, and need to gain relationship experience to really understand what "perfect" means.
...............................
|
