A
male
age
30-35,
*alshie93
writes:I've know this girl for about two months now and I've been trying to meet up with her one on one, to spend more time with her personally rather than in groups and that outside of college.The thing is, I have ended up in the friend zone.She likes this boy who is a year younger than her and as I gradually got to know her, I discovered her and I had so so much in common, like the sort of in common that people look for and are like, this person is on of those people you just know is right.Anyway, so she likes this boy who is hot and cold with her and that gets her down and so I'm there always talking to her and giving her advice and such, at first I was trying to convince her that she needs to stop tying herself down with one boy when this boy she likes is liking and hitting on loads of other girls.Anyway, that didn't work so I genuinely went out to help her and explain the situation from a boy's POV.Obviously I have been complimenting her and that to make her feel special all the usual thingsBut there is just a connection there that I want to pursue but she wont let me. She wont meet up with me one on one for coffee or anything like that and she know's we're friends, but I've always said to her, how can you like or dislike someone without spending time with them in person.So how do I get out the friend zone?We had a falling out about all of this last night and I stopped talking and went to sleep and woke up with voice mails and texts and missed calls all off her, like she was having a go at me because I just stopped talking and said she was right.I've been short with her today and she's noticed it over text, saying why am I not talking as much and thatSo do I continue this?I've read that there are ways to get out the friend zone, but all I really want is a chance to hang out one on one with her, because I know there is something there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): yeah, talk to her less. still talk though. just tell her u r busy or something. make her a BIT jealous. sound a bit like a movie but yep it work
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Snaps to you for moving on Walshie!
So let's take what you have learned in the past and apply it now. You're in the dreaded zone with this girl, giving her advice on this guy, blah, blah. Don't do that, you dig yourself deeper into the friend's zone. Nor do you tell her what he's like and talk down about him, that will make her want him more.
We know that smothering the girl doesn't work, overloading her with compliments, being there for her, and being pushy..will push her away from you. Now, you're using the tactic by ignoring her..treating her kinda crappy. For some reason, girls like this. Act like you can't be bothered by her "issues". You could even go as far as talking about some other girl in your Calc class to see if she gets jealous( make up a fabricated lie).
If all else fails, cut the crap and tell her you're into her. That you would like to get to know her on a more personal level. This time if she's says she's not interested then SHE MEANS IT.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): Oh dear, walshie another girl? You seem to hop from one to the next.
There isn't usually a way out of the friends zone. It sounds like she likes you just not in that way.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Glad you've moved on Walshie!
There is no certain way out of the friend zone. The best you can do is confess your feelings and hope they are returned. If she's already told you in no uncertain terms that it's not going to happen, then you need to drop it and decide if you're capable of being just friends. If not, then sayonara.
Things to point to in order to help your case are that she and you communicate a lot, and you're the person she comes to when she has problems. Those don't indicate love, but they indicate trust and a closeness. That's a good start at least.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): listen. just tell her how you feel. and obviously she feels the same way. if she doesnt she needs to stop sending sinals. hope i helped (:
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