A
male
age
30-35,
*oshua.james
writes:OK ladies i need your help. me and my wife had a big argument over a month ago. we recently seperated. according to her this is just temporary and she just needs time. now the only time she contacts me is for money. It's only been four days and im completely losing my mind. If she loves me anywhere near as much as i love her how can she not be running back into my arms right now. I just dont understand it. How long does it take for a woman to clear her head and decide to come home. I know everyone is different, but i need to know is this a normal thing or should i prepare for the worst
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male
reader, joshua.james +, writes (1 April 2011):
joshua.james is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe thing im worried about is ever since the fight. which was over a month ago she hasnt given me the opportunity to fix it. i've been going to counseling twice a week to deal with my anger and ive completely quit drinking. she refuses to go to counseling with me and constantly pushes me away. the fight was over our sex life because she was making me go weeks at at time without it. we havent even been married a year. anyways during the fight she was in my face and brought up one of my worst memories from childhood that only she knows about. so i pushed her away from me by her face. I know that this was wrong and beleive me when i say i hate myself for it. I feel i am giving everything i have to save this marriage, but she isnt even giving me a chance to fix it much less put forward any effort herself
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): Give her some more time. She wouldn't have even thought about why she is there on her own, why she left you etc.. One of my friends split up with her husband, but she felt she really missed him was 4 months after they split up.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 March 2011):
 I don't know how long does it take in average for a woman to clear her head, but I'd say surely more than 4 days. Particularly about a serious relationship issue. 4 days aren' t even enough to decide where you want to spend a week holiday - imagine about a marriage.
I think she is wise to not run back into your arms before she has found a solution for the problem that pulled you apart, or at least a way to cope with it , to come to terms with it.
What would be the point of running back to you before that ? She'd run back into your arms, you'd kiss and make peace with abundance of " I love you " and " I missed you "- and the issue would still be there, ready to pop up again and divide you again at the first occasion.
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