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female
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*vangeline
writes:Hi, Im 17 and have been dating this guy for about 7 months, we have a good relationship for people of our age and have very recently starting having sex (it being the first time for the both of us. He says he loves me loads and is very affectionate and caring towards me. However i Know that he his a teenager and could turn thse feelings of love towards me off very suddenly and without real reason (my last bf who i dated for about 6 months suddenly did not want to continue the relationship for what seemed like no reason one day). So are there any ways i can keep hold of him longer? Any things that can be done to keep him interested - i suppose as we've recently had sex im worried he'll really loose interest. Sorry this probably seems like a juvanile question - but any help will be apriciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Hey, it is perfectly normal to be a little bit worried about the other person suddenly loosing interest in you, especially if you've had it happen to you before.
The way I would think about it is that it also works the other way around, you could just as easily go off him too, couldn't you? So there must also be a worry for him too.
It's a risk, having a relationship. One that is hopefully worth taking though. All you can do really is be yourself, treat him with respect and see your relationship as something that needs looking after and nurturing so that it continues to grow nice and strong.
Once you have been together a little longer, you'll start to feel much more secure with each other and for 99% of people their insecurities dissapear because they know what it is to give and receive love.
Your boyfriend seems to be doing all the things to show he is dedicated to you, so I'd say either talk to him about your worries, or put them to the back of your mind and forget about them and just get on with having a good relationship. You should only really ever worry if you see a change in his behaviour.
All the best and good luck with the relationship.
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female
reader, Anonymousloll +, writes (9 January 2007):
Hi there! Dont be silly its not a juvenile question at all! Its a common concern especially with attitudes towards sex nowadays. However if your boyfriend was with you for seven months before having sex then odds are he does really love you and wasnt just after the sex! Trust me, i waited that long with my boyfriend and it was both of our first times too, he was really eager to have sex but he loved me and that was why! If he is just after the sex then i would be shocked but i really believe your boyfriend loves you very much, you say hes very affectionate, thats a good sign but i dont think you have to 'do' anything to keep him, just be yourself, thats clearly why he's with you, let me know how things go! xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): There is no way to make someone stay interested in you, just be yourself and plan some fun activity filled dates that don't revolve around sex, be a friend first and always demand his respect, if he mistreats you or puts you down, call him on it....guys lose interest often when they lose respect....I am glad you waited at least 7 months before having sex, I hope you are using birth control and protect yourself against STD's with a condom.
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reader, Lilly223  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 No this isn't a juvenile question... Even old farts like me get a bit insecure after sleeping with someone for the first time... and I've had more that ONE first time with someone new. It sounds that you are worried that "now that you gave up the goods" he is going to hurt you. I hope not, there are no guarentee that he will not. BUT... you say he loves you loads, and is very affectionate and caring toward you... which tells me he probably isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I think the insecurity is from your last relationship and the way it ended. No, none of us here can predict the future (that I know of) but it seems to me that all is well, and that it is your own worries that are causing the problem. Take a deep breath, be glad that you have a bf that cares about you, and know that there is nothing you can do to "keep hold" of some one if they don't want to be held on to. Relationships aren't all about entertaining each otherall the time, they are about supporting and caring for each other. Sure excitement is nice, but realitically impossible to do every second. I think everything is okay, from what you write.
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