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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: It's a LONG story.. but the short version is this.I meet girl, we become instant best friends. Girl is in unhealthy controlling relationship(looking through phone email etc and not letting her hang out with friends..things of that nature) and I become her biggest confidant. Eventually, I fall in love with her BUT keep it to myself to not complicate things. Girl eventually starts acting odd..telling ME she loves/misses/cares for me, how attractive I am, how happy I make her. I confront her, and tell her im uncomfortable by this because of my feelings. She says okay....BUT that she wants to be with me and I make her happy her significant other does NOT.We spend the next month always together...saying I LOVE YOU, we become physical, pretty much acting like we're in a relationship. But I push nothing..because I know she came out of a bad situation. Well she spent this month saying how she didnt know what she wanted..but that her old relationship was done.But now...she tells me she wants to give it another go with her ex. Im fine with it..and tell her everything is fine. Yet by the next day...she asks me out on a date!! Now all this came about when she went on vacation for a week where we did not get to talk often(we see each other everyday normally and talk countless times on the phone).Im in love with her..but I dont want to act like a fool. I personally think she cant let go of the routine her and her ex created. But do you think I should keep trying? Or give up? Or let her date both of us and find out what she really wants? Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice! I know we're both young... it's just so difficult. Especially knowing the problems between her and her ex and how unhappy she was through it all...the thought of her going back into that situation makes me ill. I guess I need to learn to cope with the situation better...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): You are both much too young to be settling down anyway so just let her go back to her ex and try and stay just friends with her. Talk to her and let her know how you feel, tell here also that she can't keep going backwards and forwards, you have feelings too. You will meet someone else and that will probably bring her to her senses. Just let her go. There are loads of lovely girls out there and you are young. Enjoy life and don't get tied down to one girl at your age.
Take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): Girls this age are very fickle and you will just have to give her some space and let her date who she wants and you might want to do the same....you are young, plenty of time for a girlfriend, just make some good friends and some good memories by hanging out and having fun together, don't stress over it, I know you are very fond of her, but there are a lot of great girls out there, give her time and who knows the ex will be an ex again sooner than later I bet.
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