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We really fancied each other but people at school making fun of us made him aparently lose his feelings towards me, and I can't forget him just like that

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2008)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and a Boy of my age at high school have recently revealed that we both have feelings for one another (Recently being about a month ago). Ever since, we have been flirting like crazy, and the feelings that I have for him have grown stronger and more loving.

However, people in our year have become aware of this, and are making assumptions (We're going out, one of us is about to ask the other out, we've already been out, etc.). At first, this was really bothering me, but as soon as I realised how much I loved him, I've grown to not care what others think. However, I believe that he still finds these assumptions embaressing (I would even go as far as saying "ashamed"), which really hurts my feelings.

Earlier on today, he made it clearly obvious that he no longer has feelings for me, yet he still acts as if he does, and I can't hide the fact that I still do! I have relied on my love for him for a while (Since discovering my true feelings for him, I have managed to fall out of love with my teacher, and fight off what nearly became an Eating Disorder). I am so worried that all of my old problems will come flooding back, and I'll just be the same ugly mess that I used to be.

He brought meaning into my life. He made me feel beautiful. I actually went a whole day without crying when I loved him. And I still do. But it breaks my heart that we're not together, and that he doesn't want to be with me. He's made me feel so ugly and un-wanted - just like I used to feel.

I basically need advice from someone in a similar situation to this, or someone that believes that they know the best psychological remedy at this point of my hopeless life.

x x x

View related questions: flirt, my teacher

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (14 July 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntThis isn't fair, but you have to remember that life isn't fair at all.

If he's a guy at your age, he cannot do anythig to go against about moving out because he still lives with his parents and under their rules. Even if two don't want this event to happen, it will happen. The only thing here is that you have to accept his departure.

Now, to keep the relationship, you could always have a long-distance relationship. Altough many people think this would never work, specially at your age, well who knows. At least you two should give it a try and see what happens. Never feel discouraged because I have heard some cases where a couple had not seen each other for years but both remained loyal and in love with each other (This happens a lot when guys go to war).

The best way to tell him your feelings is being sincere. If you want to tell him something but you don't end up saying because you think he'll freak out, you will certainly regret it. Tell him everything you feel about him and expect the best response from him. If he freaks out, try to not panic. The reason if he does this is because of something as big this will be said to him and he will not know how to respond. Give him time to calm down and think about what you said.

Now the only thing here is to wait. I give you good luck when this even happens and whatever happens there, that you'll be able to understand the reasons.

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (14 July 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntI don't say this often to kids at your age, but I really think you love him for real (and it's not an infatuation).

Now the only solution I can think of is to tell him all of what you told us here. The foundation of a relationship is good communication. Go forward and tell him all of what you think and feel of his behavior and don't hesitate on doing it. He HAS to know what you feel and he will never know if you don't tell him. Remember, guys are not psychics and will almost not likely understand implied things.

So go and confront him about this. Remember to stay calm and clear when you talk, so he understand clearly of what is bothering you. Also when something bothers you in the future, don't hesitate on telling your partner (also try not to sound like a b-word when you do this. Do it calmly and maturely) and encourage him to do the same thing to you. This will create a strong relationship with you two that will last a long time.

Also listen to the other auntie's advice and chose for yourself the best solution for this. I hope whatever you do resolves your problem and I hope you tell us what happens!

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