A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,iv been with my bf for nearly four years now and living together for 2. I love being with him cos we have loads in commen and everything but he just doesnt get intimate with me much at all anymore,it hurts when we go to bed at night and he wont even touch me. we have sex about once a month and i just feel im not getting as much attention as i want,please help cos i dont know what to do anymore and if i talk to him about it i feel im putting pressure on him. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 What has changed?
Is he impotent, or just has a severely reduced sex drive?
Hard question but a common cause for it is stress. I believe the UK especially is at the moment experiencing the full effect of the credit crisis. Nothing like killing the sexdrive like worrying about your future.
You don't give any details why he might be acting this way. YOU like being with him, YOU ain't getting enough sex. Nothing about him, how he is feeling, what he is experiencing. Perhaps a clue?
It might be any number of other things, gay, over you, sex is bad for him, another woman, another man etc etc.
Without more information about his behavior and what has changed there is no way to say.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): I'd guess I'm about twice your age and if I was only getting it once a month I'd be pretty pissed off about that. Something is quite wrong here. You should be going at it a couple of times a week or more. Like Gina says, communication is important. You need to talk to him about it to find out what's going on.
A couple of thoughts entered my head though. Firstly, could he be seeing someone else? Secondly, have you let yourself go over the last couple of years and put on weight perhaps, or not bothered too much about your appearance?
And to the anonymous reader below who knows the felling - cut out the oral sex and tell your husband you need to be satisfied too, that he's a selfish b**** and there'll be no more blow jobs until he gets his act together. Hurt his feelings? Bugger his feelings - what about yours?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): I know the felling, my husband only wants me to give him oral sex, and that it sometimes i don't have normal sex with him like i would like, but i don't want to hurt his feelings talking to him about it. I never get satisfied. Will appreciate some advice as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): why dnt u try something sexy like for instance when he comes in at a night time or whenever, try dressin in something sexy looking your best. then maybe he will fall in love al over again with u. then the night after talk with himm and see what he ses then say maybe we can try it again ? then maybee he will change his act with u completely x
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