A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiI was wondering if you could help me as I am at the end of my tether and tearing up inside.I had a massive fall out with a friend 3 years ago, and have heard nothing from her in all the years then out of the blue I get a text message from her last week saying that she was sorry. I later find out that she had been in a relationship which had recently broken up. Anyway things got out of hand and we ended up having words over the text messages and it was left that we are not speaking again. In the time that we haven't been speaking I have got married and moved to a new house, I told her this and all she wanted to know was who I married and where I had moved to. The original argument was over the guy I married as we hit it off straight away and she didn't like it. Although my husband only met her a couple of times he did see the nasty text messages when we originally fell out, one of the text message said that she had cancer and needed me which was turned out not to be true, he says that I should just leave her to it and get on with my own life now.Half of me wants to be on speaking terms with her again, but the other half is warning me off, it just goes round and round in my head, and I end up not knowing what to do.Please help.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies I know you are right and that I should leave well alone, but I keep thinking of all the good times we had in the past. But looking back the bad times really do out weigh the good ones.
I think this is half problem is that I have moved to a new area and don't know anyone so am feeling a bit out on a limb, the people I work with are a lot older than me so of course they all get on and I am the odd one out, but this jobs ends in a few months so I will be away from them.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 April 2009):
 My advice would be to leave this woman alone. I had a needy friend like this a few years ago who also took a dislike to my now-husband. She made up a series of drama's as you describe and even rang my mother (who she had never met!) up at midnight one evening when I refused to help her with a trivial matter. She told her all sorts of lies about my now-husband which caused a lot of bad feeling in my family and I will never forgive her for being so awful. I cut contact by telling her clearly we were no longer friends at which point she kept sending me texts saying how she was 'suffering' and it was all my fault. She also texted me months later out of the blue making up stories of crisis to get my attention - I ignored it and I suggest you do the same. The woman you were friends with is getting in touch because she is at a loose end now her relationship is over. She probably isn't sorry but knows that you are a bit soft and that would be her re-entry into your life. She is obviously very attention seeking on the basis of her past behaviour so leave well alone, you are happily married and sound like a nice person who could do without the agony!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): yeah it must be hard my friend said she had cancer too, and that turned out not to be true. all it is that they get lack of attention and she can see how happy you are with your life and maybe she isnt so happy with hers so she is trying too get involved in yours. just listen too your husband. maybe get a new number so she cant text you messages then maybe that will be a start of you getting over it and moving on! xx
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